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Turkish Court to Decide Whether Comparing the Turkish President to Gollum is an Insult

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Gollum Turkish president court case

No, this is not a headline from The Onion: A Turkish judge has assembled a group of experts—including two academics, a movie or TV expert, and two behavioral scientists or psychologists—to effectively conduct a character study of Gollum, J.R.R. Tolkien’s unforgettable character. But Gollum is not the one on trial—Turkish physician Bilgin Çiftçi is, for comparing Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan to the creepy, misshapen, “my precious”-spouting creature.

In October, Çiftçi was fired from his job at Turkey’s public health service after he posted an Internet meme matching up Erdoğan’s various facial expressions to Gollum. As The Guardian points out, Erdoğan has gotten flack from social media users for being “precious” about such comparisons. But it’s enough to put Çiftçi on trial. The only problem is, the judge hasn’t seen the Lord of the Rings or Hobbit films. So, they’ve adjourned until February so that the judge and his experts can educate themselves on pop culture.

This story is all manner of WTF, from the notion of someone who doesn’t automatically get Gollum to (on a more serious note) the suppression of free speech and free press in Turkey. In Turkey, insulting the president is a crime punishable by up to four years in prison. Between August 2014 and March 2015, 236 people were investigated for “insulting the head of state,” with 105 indicted and 8 formally arrested. (Thanks to the BBC for these statistics.)

Compare that to the United States, where social media users regularly use memes to poke fun at Barack Obama and criticize him alike.


Galloping Straight Into Our Hearts: The Greatest Horses of Fantasy

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Li'l Sebastian

Even in our normal, mundane reality, horses are amazing—it’s no wonder, then, that so many horses are also found in our ancient myths, legends, and modern fantasy tales. Whether they’re magical or not, these equine beauties are often vital to the hero’s quest, making it possible to reach hidden lands, slay hideous monsters, or just carry enough supplies for a month’s worth of second breakfasts.

Though we couldn’t possibly compile a complete list of fantasy horses (The Lord of the Rings alone would take forever to catalog), we’ve attempted to corral our favorites into one place. Like the Mustang on the plains, or the feral ponies of Chincoteague, we’re sure a few have escaped our snares, so let us know those we missed in the comments!

 

Bela—The Wheel of Time Series

Bela Flees Mashadar, Wheel of Time

Bela and Egwene al’Vere flee in “Mashadar” by Josh Hass.

Obviously when you have an epic as sweeping as the Wheel of Time, you’re going to have at least a few noble horses to carry our heroes through their trials and tribulations. Our favorite is Bela, a brown mare who belongs to Tam al’Thor, Rand’s adoptive father, and has been ridden into several adventures and battles. More interesting than her on-page action, however, is a certain fan theory… could Bela be the Creator in disguise?

 

Epona—The Legend of Zelda Series

Epona with Link in Ocarina of Time

In the Celtic-Roman pantheon, Epona was the protector of horses, and a goddess of fertility. The Legend of Zelda series pays homage to the goddess with Link’s horse Epona, who (like other characters in the series) recurs in several games. Link first meets the wild foal in Ocarina of Time, and learns how to play a song to calm her. The song allows her to recognize the older Link later in the game (ah, time travel), when he saves her from the jerk who owns the ranch.

Honorable mention: in Morgan Llywelyn’s The Horse Goddess, Epona is a young horsewoman whose deeds are already being sung, but who is far from being an actual deity.

 

Pegasus—Clash of the Titans

Pegasus in The Clash of the Titans

Pegasus is the son of Poseidon and Medusa, and is a freaking horse with wings. In traditional Greek mythology, he’s captured by the hero Bellerophon, who needed to fly in order to defeat the Chimera. During the Renaissance, it became more popular to tell the story with Perseus as the Pegasus-tamer, and lo, several hundred years later we got Clash of the Titans, with Perseus and Pegasus facing off with a Kraken. Poseidon also had a second horse-son, Arion (with either Demeter or Gaia, accounts vary) who is lauded as the swiftest horse in all of Greek mythology.

 

Tír na nÓg—Into the West

Tir na Nog, Into the West

In Irish mythology, Tír na nÓg is a mystical island—the “Land of the Young”—accessible in one story by a nameless magical horse. The 1992 film Into the West, Tír na nÓg is a wonderful white horse who ends up living with two young boys and their father in a tiny Dublin apartment. As you can imagine, this is not an ideal arrangement. When the horse is stolen, the boys head out on an adventure to rescue him, and ride into the West to set him free. And if you were guessing that the film’s Tír na nÓg is no ordinary horse, you are correct.

 

Artax—The Neverending Story

Artax in The Neverending Story

Like Jesus and Harry Potter, Artax’s place in this pantheon, and his ultimate importance, is defined by his death. Until that moment in the Swamps of Sadness, Artax was just your ordinary noble steed. But then, as you watched him succumb to despair and mud, a whole new era in your childhood was most likely born. A dark era, in which good did not always win (at least, not right away) and you were forced to contemplate the idea that a horse could be so depressed he’d rather die than go on.

 

Brego—The Lord of the Rings (films)

Brego with Aragorn

Appearing only in Peter Jackson’s films, Brego was a horse of Rohan and belonged to Théodred, the son of King Théoden. After Théodred is mortally wounded in battle, the horse becomes wild, and refuses all other riders. When Aragorn meets him in the stables, he sings to him in Quenya to calm the horse, then allows him to run free, saying Brego has “seen enough of war.” It’s a sweet moment, and also allows Aragorn to prove his awesomeness by out-horse-personing the Rohirrim. But wait! After Aragorn is presumed dead following the battle with the Warg-riders, it’s Brego who finds him, and allows him to ride to Helm’s Deep to warn everyone of the approaching Uruk-hai. From then on, Brego is Aragorn’s horse.

 

Yfandes—Valdemar Saga

yfandes-valdemarYfandes and the other Companions in Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series are not technically horses—they are magical beings who just happen to look exactly like horses, but with bright blue eyes, pure white coats, and silver hooves. GLAM HORSES. They form lifelong bonds with their chosen Heralds, often extending to a psychic or telepathic link. Vanyel—hailed as the greatest Herald-Mage throughout most of the series—has a fittingly awesome Companion in Yfandes, who waited ten years for the right partner to come along.

 

The silver—Game of Thrones

Khal Drogo and Daenarys Targaryen with their horses

When Khal Drogo presents his young bride Daenerys Targaryen with a beautiful snow-white horse, it’s the first indication that he might not be the barbaric monster that we’ve assumed. It still takes time, but as Dany learns to speak his language, and begins asserting herself in their marriage, we realize that Drogo respects her, and the two (eventually) form the best partnership on the show. It is not customary for Dothraki to name their horses, so Dany refers to the steed only as “the silver.”

 

Spirit/Swift Wind—She-Ra: Princess of Power

Swift Wind with Sha-Ra

Princess Aurora’s horse, Spirit, is already a great companion – he can talk, he’s loyal, and he’s far more interesting than Bow. But even better, when Aurora transforms into She-Ra, Princess of Power, Spirit becomes Swiftwind, a badass talking winged unicorn, with telepathy. In your face, Battlecat.

 

Goliath—Ladyhawke

Goliath in Ladyhawke

Goliath doesn’t have any magical powers, but he displays an extraordinary level of loyalty. Not only does he just roll with it when each of his humans repeatedly turn into a wolf and a hawk respectively, but he also puts up with a whiny Matthew Broderick! In our own world, Goliath’s role in the film kicked off a wave of interest in Friesian horses, because look how pretty!

 

Bad Horse—Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

badhorse-ELE

The role model of Dr. Horrible and super villains everywhere, Bad Horse rules the Evil League of Evil with an iron hoof. He has a terrible death whinny, a trio of cowboys who sing his lines for him, and he loooooves murder. He’s the Thoroughbred of Sin, and we will never cross him.

 

Binky—The Discworld Series

Binky with DEATH and Discworld

LEGO Discworld via the LEGO Ideas Blog

After he had some problems riding a skeletal horse (bits kept falling off), and another horse with a fiery mane (it kept setting his robes on fire), Discworld’s personification of Death settled on a real living horse named Binky. Binky is pure white, and sometimes leaves a trail of glowing hoofprints. Even though he’s normal in most respects, working for Death has rendered him ageless. And sharing in Death’s hyperreality means he can just ignore lesser realities, like time and physical distance.

 

Bree (short for Breehy-hinny-brinny-hoohy-hah)—The Horse and His Boy

Art by Pauline Baynes

Art by Pauline Baynes

Bree, a talking horse of Narnia, was kidnapped and sold into slavery in Calormen, where the animals don’t speak. Being the only talking horse has made Bree a bit full of himself. At first this comes across in the Peabody and Sherman-esque relationship between him and the titular boy, Shasta, but, this is a Narnia book, so Bree spends the second half of the book learning humility through a series of encounters with lions… who all turn out to be The One True Lion. Real subtle, Aslan. Bree also shares a name with the town featured in The Fellowship of the Ring, which was home to The Prancing Pony.

 

Li’l Sebastian—Parks and Recreation

Li'l Sebastian R.I.P.

“But wait!” you cry, “Li’l Sebastian was a real miniature horse, not a fantasy horse!” Yes, he was a real miniature horse, but now he is the brightest angel in all of Horsey Heaven, which qualifies him for this list. Also, he is always in our hearts.

 

Shadowfax—The Lord of the Rings

Shadowfax with Gandalf

And finally, we could only end this list with one horse, right? He’s Gandalf’s BFF. He shows us the meaning of haste. He is truly the Lord of All Horses.

…but wait. Shadowfax may well be the Lord of Horses, the Son of the Firstborn of the Meara, and the chosen steed of the greatest wizard of Middle-earth. But he’s no goddamn Bill the Pony.

bill-pony-lotr

Doomsday and Lord of the Rings Cave Troll are Best Friends Forever

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Doomsday Batman v Superman Fellowship of the Ring cave troll

There’s more than a little resemblance here, don’t you think?

I’m calling it right here. The DC Universe is the Fourth Age of Middle-earth.

You know, after this movie they should team up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

Monster Squad, coming in 2018!

I’m just full of good ideas today.

Stephen Colbert Uses His Extensive Tolkien Knowledge in the Name of Justice

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Stephen Colbert Gollum Turkey The Lord of the RIngs

Remember when the Turkish government put a man on trial for comparing the Turkish president to Gollum? And then the court adjourned because no one had actually seen enough of The Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit to determine if Gollum were evil? When this news made its way to Stephen Colbert, the Late Show host used his position as a television authority to do exactly what we’d expect: geek out about the intricacies of J.R.R. Tolkien’s world. This is neither the first nor certainly the last time Colbert has done so, but this time, it’s for the greater good.

All kidding aside, Colbert looked disturbed at the notion that a man could be jailed for up to two years for posting an Internet meme mocking his country’s leader. And while he was unfortunately not one of the experts chosen to conduct a character study on Gollum, Colbert still did his best Atticus Finch impression on the courtroom of being on television to make his case: It wasn’t Gollum in those photos, it was poor, corrupted Sméagol.

One Doughnut to Rule Them All!

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Ring Doughnut

Jim Rittenhouse shared this delectable agent of evil! Forged in the fires of an unknown Krispy Kreme, the doughnut’s will was always to be found by the appropriate bearer. It wanted to be found, glistening on that conveyor belt… Understand, we would use this doughnut from a desire to do good… But through us, it would wield a power too delicious and terrible to imagine. Oh, if only its baker had the mental fortitude to cast it back into the deep fryer! But men’s hearts are weak and…wait, it’s already been eaten?

Oh, never mind, someone ate it, thus destroying its nefarious power. We’re cool.

J. R. R. Tolkien Went into the West, but Gave Us Middle-earth

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Art by David A. Johnson

It’s January 3, which means that on this day, in 1892, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien was born. Undoubtedly one of the most influential authors of modern mythic literature, Tolkien spent his childhood as an avid reader and a lover of language. As a boy, he often preferred to invent new tongues himself or with friends. His youthful fancies informed his academic career, and Tolkien eventually became a professor of English Literature. In the 1930s, he wrote an article about the criticism of Beowulf that forever changed how the literary world academically viewed the poem.

But of course, the world remembers Tolkien for changing the fantasy genre forever. By penning The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien set a framework for fantasy literature that countless authors have attempted to recapture over the years. The creation of Middle-earth, from its languages to its poetry to its rich cultural history and varied peoples, was an astounding feat of imagination that no one had managed before with such detail and ardent care.

It denotes a particular status as a writer to have your name instantly associated with an entire genre, and indeed, it is impossible to call up the names of science fiction and fantasy authors and not include Tolkien. He intended with his works to create stories that entered our mythic consciousness, a feat that he accomplished in every sense. Though we may never glimpse the House of Elrond, Minas Tirith, or the peaceful Shire for ourselves, it is enough that he left his world to us, and that we will always be able to journey there… and back again.

This post originally appeared on January 3, 2013 on Tor.com.

Ireland is Trying to New Zealand Itself With The Force Awakens

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Ireland Skellig Michael Star Wars The Force Awakens tourism Luke Skywalker

Tourism Ireland has put out a new video that’s part Star Wars: The Force Awakens featurette, part “Hey, remember that awesome [spoiler] island? You should come see it for yourself!”

Spoilers for The Force Awakens.

The video includes director J.J. Abrams talking about how his desire for practical effects extended to finding an authentic setting for what we now know to be Luke Skywalker’s hiding place, the planet of Ahch-to. That setting? Ireland’s Skellig Michael, a gorgeous island off the coast of County Kerry. As supervising location manager Martin Joy describes it, “We needed to find somewhere completely from another time and place.”

There was some pushback against using Skellig Michael as a filming location because of its status as a UNESCO World Heritage Site; there were fears about damaging the ecology. However, Ireland’s Office of Public Works and the Department of Arts, Heritage, and the Gaeltacht have emphasized that filming caused no significant damage.

Now, seeing as Skellig Michael will play at least a small part in Episode VIII, Tourism Ireland is inviting visitors the world over to experience this otherworldly beauty. Tourism Minister Paschal Donohoe said that “[b]y the end of November 2015, we had surpassed our best ever year on record for the number of overseas visitors. We are determined to build on that.” They shouldn’t have a problem at all, but they might want to check in with New Zealand’s tourism board for any tips or tricks they learned from the Lord of the Rings movies (and then again with The Hobbit trilogy).

The Earth Isn’t Flat, But Middle-earth Is

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grey-havens

Those who believe the Earth is flat may truly desire to live in a fantasy world.

In late January of this year, rapper B.o.B. took to Twitter seriously wanting to know why everyone thought the Earth was a sphere. Neil deGrasse Tyson, designated king of space, let B.o.B. know several ways that he could observe the Earth’s curvature for himself. For a man who can sometimes be a little overzealous in trying to apply science to character-based fantasy narratives, Neil took it pretty easy on B.o.B. Perhaps he knew that B.o.B. willingly dropped out of high school in the ninth grade, and probably missed the basic education in science that would have given the rapper the deductive tools needed to understand the mechanics of his world.

Neil probably also knows that one of our most beloved sagas, J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, begins on a flat [Middle-]earth, and that there is considerable mystique in the idea of a flat planet.

Even after B.o.B. released a meandering diss track, Neil kept it cute with a mic drop response on Larry Wilmore’s Nightly Show. The diss track is gone now and the matter seems(?) to be closed, with Neil and common sense prevailing. And yet, the members of the Flat Earth Society maintain their membership in the Flat Earth Society. There is clearly a strong allure to the idea of a disc-shaped planet.

Tolkien must have thought so, too, as his creation mythology of Middle-earth begins with the planet as a flat circle. This physical realm was known as Arda*, and well before the time of hobbits and rings, it was “sung” into being by the Ainur, the first creations of Eru Ilúvatar, the Creator of all things. Some Ainur showed interest in having a caretaking role over the newly created Arda and its denizens, including Elves and Men. These Ainur took physical form and dwelled on the flat planet, becoming Valar and their counterparts of lesser power, Maiar. To put this in perspective, the people that we know of as Gandalf, Saruman, and Sauron are all Maiar. And as we see in The Lord of the Rings, even a “lesser-powered” Maia like Sauron is still strong enough to warp Arda and bring about the near-extinction of entire species of beings.

*The definition of Arda changes as the structure of Tolkien’s cosmology changes and can also refer to the cosmos that the planet exists within. For the purposes of this article, Arda refers to only the planet itself.

Sauron didn’t generate his dark arrogance all by himself. He had a teacher in the form of  Melkor (also known as Morgoth), one of the Valar who, during the creation of Arda, sang a counter-harmony to the chorus of creation that his Ainur brethren were fashioning. Because of this, chaos and entropy were sewn into the reality of Arda, and Melkor became so enamored with the chaotic physical realm of Arda that he came to live within it and eventually proclaimed that it belonged entirely to him.

In summary, Melkor/Morgoth is basically that guy in the car who insists on singing his own lyrics to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” And Sauron is enamored with him.

The Arda that Melkor initially claimed was a pretty boring place: a flat circle of land with a round sea in the middle and an island in the middle of that, much like an eye. Surrounding this flat circle of land was an Encircling Sea, which was itself surrounded by the Void.

Arda did not stay this way. The battles between Melkor and the rest of the Valar were numerous and repetitive. Melkor would mar the land, raising mountains or creating gaps that the Encircling Sea would rush into, before he was overpowered and banished into the Void. Then he’d find his way back and continue his process of alteration before being turned away again. Over time, these struggles produced a flat Arda with several continents on it, as imaged in The Atlas of Middle-earth by Karen Wynn Fonstadd.

Arda First Age

Arda in the First Age from The Atlas of Middle-Earth by Karen Wynn Fonstad

Melkor and his servants took strongholds in the northern continent—the one we know as the Middle-earth that Tolkien’s main series takes place upon—while the forces of the Valar held the western continent of Valinor, which would later come to be known as The Undying Lands. Melkor (really, Morgoth at this point) held the central continent for the entirety of the First Age of Arda, a span of almost 600 years, before he and his servants were finally crushed by the Valar, and the First Age of the world was drawn to a close.

Even in defeat, Morgoth’s purpose remained fulfilled, for he marred the land so greatly that the Valar spent the dawn of the Second Age changing the landscape even further in order to correct this marring. The northern and southern continents were further merged, Mordor was formed, and an island known as Númenor arose from the Sundering Seas.

Arda Second Age

Arda in the Second Age from The Atlas of Middle-Earth by Karen Wynn Fonstad

With Morgoth gone, his devotee Sauron rose to prominence and began his long bid for power, taking lands, swaying men, and forging some very familiar rings within the span of about 1500 years. In fact, Sauron’s hold on Middle-earth is maintained until the year 3446 in the Second Age, when Isildur defeats Sauron and has that awesome shouting match with his best bud Elrond.

Isildur LOTR

“yeahhh flat earth blaze it 420”

In Tolkien’s legendarium, the entire history of Arda leading nearly up to the events that inspire the War of the Ring has taken place on a completely flat planet surrounded by a sea, ringed by a void. This kind of setting is certainly atmospheric, and helps to deliver an epic scope to the history leading up to The Lord of the Rings. On a flat, enclosed disc of a world, wars between demigods like Melkor, Sauron, and the Valar truly determine the fate of all.

This kind of setting, one that makes the world knowable and inescapable, seems to appeal to those believe in a flat Earth, as well. Ashley Feinberg at Gawker summed up the various workarounds that Flat Earthers use to explain everyday phenomena, and the list reads similar to considerations Tolkien made when constructing the beginning of Arda and Middle-earth.

Flat Earthers postulate: The firmament, a solid dome sky with the Sun, Moon, and stars embedded within it.
Tolkien postulates: The void, an open space around Arda where the Sun, Moon, and stars move on their daily trajectories above and below the flat disc of the planet.

Flat Earthers postulate: The ice wall, a pitch black, absolute zero barrier that surrounds the disc of our flat Earth and which can’t be voyaged beyond.
Tolkien postulates: The Encircling Sea, which can be voyaged upon and passed through, although if you’re of the race of Men, that will hastily result in your death.

Flat Earth ice ring

Flat Earthers postulate: A vast conspiracy between world governments (who always famously get along) and NASA to falsify evidence of a round planet for… reasons?
Tolkien postulates: An unimaginative God-being that keeps getting its nice flat featureless planet messed up by its children, one of whom is literally just trying to make his own stamp upon the world.

Flat Earthers postulate: Universal Acceleration instead of gravity. Basically, that our flat planet is flying through a plasma-like medium called “aether” face-first, pressing all of us down onto the surface of the Earth. Why this is necessary is unclear, since a flat planet with a domed underside would still be plenty massive enough to keep us grounded via gravity.
Tolkien postulates: No flying creatures. Except eagles, friendly thrushes, dragons, black arrows, fellbeasts, that one moth Gandalf keeps whispering at, and Gimli when being tossed. Okay, so lots of flying creatures, but also gravity. Because Arda does have a domed underside, called “Ambar.” Presumably, Tolkien including this in his cosmology presented no problems.

The parallels between Tolkien’s world-building and Flat Earth beliefs can be very direct when listed out by feature. To those who believe in a Flat Earth, these parallels may simply be further confirmation that our real world is capable of existing as a disc instead of a sphere. Tolkien’s world certainly feels real to its readers, after all, and the author was exhaustive in detailing its history, its composition, its language, and even its future. Perhaps Tolkien was a Flat Earther himself, and was simply seeding in the truth of things through his epic tale…

Except that even Middle-earth eventually became round. Around one hundred years before Isildur battled Sauron, the dark lord wheedled his way into power on the island of Númenor, stationed halfway between the Valar’s Undying Lands and Middle-earth. For one Vala in particular, this was the last straw. Manwë, brother of Melkor, asked the Creator itself, Eru Iluvatar, to make an example of those who would ally themselves to Sauron. The Creator obliged, sinking Númenor, making the flat Arda into a sphere, and severing the continents of the Valar’s Undying Lands from Arda. A man (or woman, or elf) could leave from the Grey Havens in the west and sail all the way around the globe, eventually hitting the lands east of Mordor.

With The Undying Lands inaccessible, Middle-earth was now alone on the planet of Arda. The new spherical world stood as both a warning and a gift: do not let dark prophets misguide you. For if you succeed in casting off their sway, then the Fourth Age, the Age of Men, will ensue and this world will be yours to sculpt.

In crafting his fictional world, Tolkien gets to the very heart of why Flat Earth beliefs feel so offensive. It isn’t just the ignorance that these beliefs champion, or the refusal of the gift of knowledge that previous generations grant to us, but the limitations that beliefs like this impose upon others. By being so dedicated to the fantasy of a Flat Earth, a believer is insisting that the expression and ingenuity of mankind is limited to two dimensions, that the horizon is impassable, that we are stuck in our ways.

This is a hopeless way to see the world. And perhaps this is one of the reasons why we construct such elaborate fantasies through art and literature, not to close off possibilities within our own lives, but to illuminate the straight way out of such hopelessness.

Chris Lough writes about fantasy and superheroes and things for Tor.com. Over time he has also gone from flat to spherical.


We Can’t Just Adapt Sci-Fi/Fantasy Books, We Have to Transform Them

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The Shannara Chronicles MTV adaptation love triangle

It’s been coming on for a while now—easily for years; arguably for decades—but as of 2016, I’m calling it: We’re officially entering a golden age of SFF adaptations. Exactly where and how the trend started is hardly an isolated question, though I’d argue that the release of the first Harry Potter film and Peter Jackson’s The Fellowship of the Ring back in late 2001 had a great deal to do with it. Not only were both films extraordinarily well-received, but they showed the major studios that, provided you got the fanbase onboard with the first installment, you really could bank on the sequels years in advance. With the special effects budgets needed to make SFF narratives work no longer cost-prohibitive to everyone beyond the biggest players, the steady trickle-down to television was inevitable.

By the same token, it’s impossible to consider the adaptation of SFF novels and short stories without also examining the commensurate rise in superhero properties, the one being inextricably paralleled by—and intertwined with—the other. Looking at the current ubiquity of comic book adaptations on both the big and small screen, for instance (to say nothing of the almost terrifyingly long-game future release schedules of both DC and Marvel), it’s easy to miss the comparative subtlety in how it all started. Officially, the MCU-as-is began in 2008, with Iron Man; unofficially, given Bruce Banner’s inclusion in subsequent MCU films, there’s an argument to be made that it really started in 2003, with Ang Lee’s Hulk. However, this series swapped Eric Bana for Ed Norton in the 2008 sequel, then brought in Mark Ruffalo for 2012’s The Avengers. Either way, the Hulk remains a narrative staple, though his conflicts have shifted from addressing classic mad science and the military industrial complex to focusing on the more internal battles of depression and self-acceptance.

Iron Man 2008 SFF comic book adaptations

Going back further, however, the rise of big Marvel movies arguably started in 1998, with Wesley Snipes and Blade. Though Blade did well enough to merit two sequels—Blade II in 2002, Blade: Trinity in 2004—it was more a cult success than a global phenomenon; and yet, it remains significant. The introduction of X-Men in 2000 was another milestone, though one that seems more obviously so in retrospect. It was X-Men 2, released in 2003, that garnered greater acclaim, though a lot of that figurative capital was subsequently squandered in the disaster of 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand. Nonetheless, the X-Men films have kept on keeping on, due in no small part to the popularity of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and, following the release of X-Men: First Class in 2011, the younger versions of Professor Xavier and Magento, played by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender. Not that the X-Men films exist in the same timeline as the rest of the MCU; to steal a phrase from Doctor Who, it’s all very wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, regardless of who’s responsible. Even so, their popularity laid a great deal of groundwork for the MCU’s subsequent transformation, and thanks to the success of The Avengers, we now have multiple related TV shows, all thematically different despite their interconnectedness: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013), Agent Carter (2015), Daredevil (2015), Jessica Jones (2015), and the forthcoming Luke Cage.

DC and its properties have undergone a similar metamorphosis. Looking back on the Batman films of the late eighties and early nineties, which can best be described with words like kitschy, camp and why?, they’re almost unrecognisable when compared to the grittier, Nolan-era reboots of 2005 and onwards. The Spider-Man films performed the same trick in a vastly shorter timeframe: Tobey Maguire’s 2002 debut has a shiny-happy-puppy quality which, by the third installment in 2007—the less said of which, the better, because what the actual fuck was that evil dance routine?—had well and truly lost the plot. Andrew Garfield’s 2012 revamp in The Amazing Spider-Man went a long way towards redeeming the franchise, but given that Sony’s control of the character is a use-it-or-lose-it deal, it was arguably a decision driven more by necessity than true apologia. (The fact that Spider-Man is going to appear in Marvel’s next Avengers film is a case in point.) And yet, from this structural morass, there’s still been a commensurate—and successful—jump to television: Following the success of Arrow (2012), we now have The Flash (2014), Gotham (2014), Supergirl (2015), and Legends of Tomorrow (2016), all of which have been well received by critics and fandom alike.

comic book adaptations The CW The Flash

Regardless of individual failures, as a collective whole, superhero and comic book adaptations have been on a steady upwards trajectory—both in volume and critical acclaim—for the better part of twenty years. For anyone who grew up in the nineties, it’s been an omnipresent and increasingly visible part of the cultural landscape: Regardless of your interest in comics, a trashy action blockbuster is a trashy action blockbuster, and if you’re aged between twelve and twenty at the time of release, the chances are you’ll see it, or be exposed to discussions of it, on that basis alone. (Which explains why, despite several years of vehement protestations to the contrary, I was recently outraged to realise I had a dog in the Marvel vs. DC fight. It’s not like I meant to start giving a crap, but there’s only so much you can do about fandom by osmosis.)

The rise in adaptations of other SFFnal properties, however—novels, non-superhero comics and short stories—has been a much more chequered process, despite the presence of an eager, overlapping fanbase. It doesn’t escape notice, for instance, that the adaptations most prone to failure are fantasies, either epic or urban, while those that succeed, or whose trashiness is often deemed a feature instead of a bug, are SF. Partly, one suspects, this is because SF has a longer, more established history as a cinematic genre than fantasy, though many superhero properties tend to blur the magic/science line in ways we don’t often discuss. But mostly, if we’re being honest, Hollywood just doesn’t seem to understand that fantasy narratives, however action-oriented their plots might be, are more than just a different flavour of blockbuster.

Flops like Eragon (2006) and The Seeker: The Dark is Rising (2007) weren’t merely badly acted; in fixating on visual spectacle, their adaptations entirely missed what made the source material so popular in the first place. Arguably the most egregious such failure was The Golden Compass, released in 2007. Adapted from the first book of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy, the film attracted controversy from the outset, most loudly from Christian quarters. Pullman had never been shy about describing his books as the atheistic equivalent of C.S. Lewis’s Narnia series, with criticism of organised religion in general and Christianity in particular being central to the story. Frightened by the backlash the project was attracting, the studio tried to soften things. The end result, though visually beautiful, was fundamentally bowdlerised: still too radical a product for the protestors who’d never been going to watch it in the first place, but missing everything fans of the books had most wanted to see.

The Golden Compass adaptation fail

By contrast, the Narnia films were given a much greater leeway to adhere to the source material, yet never quite managed to enter the zeitgeist. Though The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) was ultimately successful, the studio still ummed and aahed about sequels. There were financial reasons for this, certainly, but Narnia is also something of a unique case: though linked, the books can be read out of order, there are multiple hefty timeskips between volumes, and as such, their structure and content varies wildly. With Prince Caspian released in 2008 and The Voyage of the Dawntreader in 2010, any future installments seem stuck in limbo; both The Silver Chair and The Magician’s Nephew are still slated, albeit nebulously, for future production, yet when that exactly might happen remains unclear.

Put bluntly, fantasy stories are often treated by Hollywood as an excuse to indulge in visual spectacle, instead of—as they really are—a vehicle for ideas. Though CGI isn’t as great a novelty in 2016 as it was in 2006, the idea that the thematic integrity of fantasy stories is of equal or even greater importance to audiences than how they look is still something movies struggle with. The success of the Twilight films is a case in point: whatever you might say about the quality and content of the source material, you can’t claim that the adaptations didn’t strive to respect it. (That both films and books were—and still are—criticised on multiple other counts is a different issue.) Similarly, the cinematic quadrilogy of The Hunger Games, released between 2012 and 2015, was successful precisely because it respected the political and emotional aspects of the novels on which it was based. No matter the acting talent of Jennifer Lawrence and her castmates, without that central thematic core, the first film would’ve been like The Golden Compass: beautiful, but missing everything that made it real.

The Hunger Games adaptation emotional core Katniss salute

That being so, the steady transfer of fantasy adaptations to TV rather than movies makes a certain degree of sense. Whereas many SF and dystopian stories are built around a central “what if” premise whose moral and social implications can be cleanly addressed in under three hours—what if everyone had robots, or children were trained as military tacticians, or life was determined by rigid factional alliances, or you woke up in a post-apocalyptic setting without your memories, for instance—fantasy, as a genre, is frequently built on variations of the hero’s journey. Thematically, such stories are as much about the world and its magical particulars as they are the development of the protagonist, and trying to do justice to both within the cramped time-frame of a single film is seldom easy. TV pacing is a much better narrative fit; but up until very recently, it was somewhat tricky to manage. Not only were the necessary special effects prohibitively expensive for the small screen, especially given the lack of certainty in the payoff, but it wasn’t until the DVD-and-streaming era that TV was able to move away from episodic, procedural styles and trust that their audience was able to follow a longer, more overarching narrative.

Arguably, the first major TV show to really take this approach was 24, whose premise saw an entire season depict the real-time events of a single day. First airing in 2001, it was successful enough to merit nine full seasons and multiple spinoffs: a game-changing move in upending the primacy of traditional TV formulas. The applicability of this setup to fantasy adaptations came later, but when it finally started to catch on, it did so with a bang. In 2008—the same year that the first Twilight movie hit the big screen—HBO debuted True Blood, a southern gothic urban fantasy/murder mystery series adapted from Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse novels. Though the show departed steadily from the books the further it progressed—and wavered in the process, though not without making some solid original decisions first—it was nonetheless hugely successful, not just in its own right, but in establishing the viability of long-game fantasy shows.

Game of Thrones adaptation A Song of Ice and Fire HBO

And then, in 2011, midway through the seven-season run of True Blood, HBO premiered Game of Thrones. Now approaching its sixth season, the popularity of GoT is undeniable, both in mainstream and genre circles. So many words have been devoted to unpacking its various strengths and foibles that it feels redundant to add any more; and yet, with the show now thoroughly outpacing the source material from which it has steadily diverged—first subtly, then overtly—since the beginning, it’s difficult not to feel newly reinvested, if only for the sake of intellectual curiosity. To what extent will the two forms of narrative dovetail? Which one will we prefer, and why? And what might the comparison tell us about successful adaptations?

Because while it’s important to respect the source material—not so much literally, as a verbatim transfer, but thematically, in terms of the meaning—the best adaptations are also brave enough to innovate. The trick is doing so in the spirit of the original, taking advantage of the structural differences between screen and page to explore new narrative avenues. The new Shadowhunters show on Netflix, adapted from Cassandra Clare’s The Mortal Instruments series, is a compelling case in point, especially when compared to the 2013 flop movie, City of Bones. Not only does Shadowhunters star one of the most effortlessly diverse fantasy casts I’ve ever seen—a conscious evolution of the source material—but it makes good use of them. Where the film tried to cram the events of the first book into 130 minutes, the series, now on its fifth episode, has already surpassed that by over an hour, making up the difference with a mix of character development and worldbuilding.

Shadowhunters TV adaptation

Photo credit: ABC Family/Bob D’Amico

Yes, it runs a little thin at times, and the fight scenes are less tightly choreographed than they could be, but these are small failings compared to the fact that Shadowhunters is unapologetically fun. It’s just the right blend of spectacle and emotion, popcorn absurdity and character depth to make you want to curl up with it for an evening. Perhaps the most important change, however, is the diffusion of the source material’s love triangle—Simon loves Clary, Clary loves Jace, Jace loves Clary but can’t admit it—into a clever mirroring device. In the books, the tight perspective on Jace and Clary means that, while we’re aware that Alec, Jace’s best friend, is in unrequited love with him, the tension of it takes a background seat. In the film, there isn’t time to address it at all; Magnus Bane, who goes on to become Alec’s boyfriend, is reduced to a mere cameo. But in the show, with its omnipresent perspective and longer timescale, Simon’s feelings are no longer a source of claustrophobic tension, but are rather contrasted with Alec’s, the pair of them forced to watch as their closest friends and secret love interests fall instead for each other. (Matthew Daddario’s nuanced portrayal of Alec is already a highlight, his shy interactions with Magnus rendered all the more touching when compared to his regular, tightly controlled persona.)

Occupying a similar Popcorn Feelings niche to Shadowhunters is MTV’s The Shannara Chronicles, adapted from Terry Brooks’ series of (roughly) the same name. Not having read the books, I’m on slightly shakier ground in assessing the validity of the adaptation, but while I’m enjoying it thus far, albeit with reservations, it’s hard not to compare its comparative lack of diversity with Shadowhunters’ abundance of same. Not only is Shannara predominantly white—despite, as others have pointed out, being set in a far-future version of America’s Pacific Northwest—but I’m yet to see so much as a glimmer of deliberate queerness. Deliberate being the operative word: because while we’re clearly meant to view the relationship between half-elf Wil Ohmsford, elven princess Amberle Elessedil, and human rover Eretria as a traditional love triangle, the women behaving antagonistically towards one another while expressing mutual interest in the young hero, the chemistry between Amberle and Eretria far outweighs anything that either of them has with Wil. (Their ship name, for the curious, is Princess Rover. And yes, there is fanfiction; overwhelmingly more for the two of them, in fact, than for any other pairing on the show.)

It’s the kind of thing which almost makes me want to read the original Brooks and see if their relationship reads the same on the page, or if it’s become more obvious in the transition to screen. Almost. But either way, I’m not holding my breath that we’re heading towards a canonically queer relationship: From what I know of the novels, it wouldn’t materially change the plot for Amberle and Eretria to end up together, and yet I can’t quite imagine it happening here. While I can think of a few instances in which characters who were straight in the source material are made queer in their adaptations—notably Tara, Pam and Eric in True Blood, a show which had multiple queer/magic dream sequences, but only sometimes translated them to queerness in waking—it’s not a common phenomenon, and especially not when the end result would potentially deny a main male character their happily ever after. (But god, would I love to be wrong!)

The Shannara Chronicles MTV adaptation

Which is ultimately the point, when it comes to adaptations: that slavish adherence to the source material can often mean a lack of diversity, particularly when the stories being adapted, like Shannara or Lord of the Rings, are products of a different time. By making a conscious choice to racebend certain characters, Shadowhunters has done something largely unprecedented in modern fantasy adaptations of any kind, but especially in those aimed at a YA audience: produced a show with a majority POC cast. It’s a striking change in some respects, and yet it doesn’t violate the spirit of the original story or undermine its themes, because none of those things were race-dependent in the first place. Instead, it gives us a new, more expansive interpretation of the source material by telling the same story about a wider range of people, simply because it can. Whereas The Shannara Chronicles, having created something unfathomably rare and wonderful right off the bat—a relationship between two female characters so complex, engaging and chemistry-fuelled as to have not only produced a femslash ship, but one more instantly popular than any canonical straight pairing, and oh my god, do you even know how rare that is?—is going to ignore it in favour of a heteronormative love triangle, because Tradition.

The very best adaptations aren’t carbon copies, but intelligent variations on a theme. They make changes to the source material, not because they fail to respect or understand it, but precisely because they do. You can’t make a coherent judgement about what matters to a story—what it fundamentally is—without, in some sense, interpreting it anew, and that means putting your money where your mouth is. The diversity of Shadowhunters reflects the fact that it’s set in present-day New York, a city famed only for its whiteness in contexts where storytellers have made a conscious decision to ignore reality; the lack of diversity in The Shannara Chronicles, no matter how true to the source material, is a failure to imagine how our multicultural present could lead to such an overwhelmingly white future.

By their very nature, adaptations are always at chronological variance with their source material: The world moves on, the audience shifts, and our understanding of stories—both culturally and personally—changes. That being so, if we really want to create a golden age of SFF adaptations, we have to acknowledge the truth: that golden ages are defined, not by how successfully they imitate what came before, but by how splendidly they transform it.

 

Next time: a list of adaptations I’d love to see, and why I think they’d work.

Foz Meadows is a bipedal mammal with delusions of immortality. Her epic portal fantasy, An Accident of Stars, is due for release from Angry Robot in August 2016. As well as being the author of two YA novels, Solace and Grief and The Key to Starveldt, she reviews for Strange Horizons, and is a contributing writer for The Huffington Post and Black Gate. Her writing has also appeared at The Mary Sue and The Book Smugglers, and in 2014, she was nominated for a Hugo Award for Best Fan Writer. She like cheese, geekery, writing, webcomics and general weirdness. Dislikes include Hollywood rom-coms, licorice and waking up.

A Horse-lovers’ Guide to The Hobbit

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Bilbo-Pony

A certain degree of affection for Tolkien and his works is almost a geek shibboleth, so I’ve spent a fair amount of time feeling bad about my almost total indifference towards The Lord of the Rings. I enjoyed Bilbo’s eleventy-first birthday party, but absolutely could not tolerate the Mines of Moria, or whatever it was they had to trudge through for, like, ever to get to I don’t even know where because I gave up. I never even tried the rest of the trilogy. I thought the movies were OK, but kind of long. I don’t think this makes me a bad geek. I’ve read Diana Wynne Jones’s description of Tolkien as a lecturer at Oxford, and I don’t think I’m missing that much.

Out of respect for the traditions of my people, I have read The Hobbit, and read it to my children. It’s an enjoyable enough piece of light entertainment. I understand that the work has found an audience of devoted fans. But I am a reader with different priorities—and JRR Tolkien is almost unforgivably bad at horses. Tolkien will go on to do a better job with horses in later books: Samwise and Frodo named their ponies, and Frodo tries to rescue his from some trolls; Shadowfax is pretty cool; the Riders of Rohan seem like they would pass muster with the Pony Club. The Hobbit, however, is an equine abattoir.

In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit and he didn’t own a pony. I can tell because Tolkien provided a tolerably thorough description of the hobbit’s house and the hill in which it is embedded, and he didn’t mention the paddock, the grain shed, the bales of hay, the buckets and wheelbarrows, Bilbo’s devotion to maintaining his fencing, or the faint but pervasive smell of leather and sweat. Bilbo is also averse to adventures, which his family regards as disreputable. This strongly suggests that he’s not galloping over hill and dale jumping over sheep, or traveling long distances, or routinely engaging in other activities which would make the care and maintenance of a pony a worthwhile investment. Bilbo is not entirely a Hobbit of Leisure—he does his own cooking and washing up—but he doesn’t seem to be a Hobbit farmer either, so he doesn’t need a pony to pull his plow. Hobbits usually go barefoot because, Tolkien informs us, their feet are very sturdy. I have concerns about whether or not a Hobbit’s feet are really hardy enough to withstand having their toes trodden on by a shod pony. I concede that it’s possible that Hobbits do OK with that despite my concerns. But nonetheless, Bilbo neither owns nor routinely rides a pony, and Tolkien never tried to claim that he did.

So what is he doing riding off to the Lonely Mountains on one? Ponies climb up and down mountains every day. Turning a horse (or pony) out on mountainous pasture is a decent way to build some muscle before putting an animal into training or work. However, there are some issues that need to be taken into consideration when combining ponies and long rides to (and eventually up) mountains, and the first of these is Bilbo. Our aspiring burglar undergoes a significant transformation in the opening chapters of The Hobbit, but he doesn’t have time to pack his pocket handkerchiefs, let alone take riding lessons.

Historically, riding lessons were a luxury not available—or even considered necessary—by many people who rode. But historically, one began one’s riding career with short rides in early childhood and progressed slowly from that point. One didn’t borrow a cloak and hood and then hop on a horse and ride far into the Lone-lands from May into June. Stirrups offer some further complications for hobbits. Stirrups aren’t an absolute requirement for riding. If you’re not trying to shoot arrows from horseback, you can get by without them. A substantial school of thought insists that beginning riders should not use reins or stirrups until they’ve developed a strong seat. Hobbits who don’t wear shoes might have a hard time finding stirrups that they can comfortably shove their leathery toes through. The major benefit to stirrups is that, with a little practice, they can help mitigate concussive forces. Whether he’s using stirrups or not, Bilbo would be too crippled to walk (and acutely aware of all of the seams in his trousers) by the end of the first day.

Hobbits-Ponies

Tolkien is also unclear on the number of ponies involved in the dwarves’ treasure-retrieval project. There are thirteen dwarves, plus Bilbo and Gandalf. At their departure from the Inn in Hobbiton, the ponies are laden with “baggages, packages, parcels, and paraphernalia” as well as riders. The quantity of goods required for the journey probably requires more than 15 animals to carry. The dwarves are planning to return with more goods than they are carrying at departure, so it would make sense to bring additional pack animals. It’s a wild guess, but I feel comfortable with an estimate of no fewer than 20 ponies for the journey. These ponies are supernaturally well-behaved. They don’t do anything worthy of comment until one of them spooks, runs away and drops the packs full of food in a river on a windy night. Later that night, the entire Dwarvish party is captured by trolls. While their ponies stand around quietly on the picket line, attracting no attention whatsoever. Indeed, they’ve been very quiet for the entire journey. Tolkien pops out the fourth wall to let us know that Dwarves seem noisy to Bilbo, because Hobbits are much quieter, but the entire party—thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, sometimes Gandalf, and twenty or so ponies—could pass by a few yards away and you, the reader, wouldn’t notice. Because somehow, in this book where no one has so much as mentioned a hoof pick, the dwarves are maintaining such high standards of horse care that the ponies are not only noiseless and invisible, they also don’t smell.

Tolkien makes a nod at the difficulty of traveling with ponies when the dwarves reach Rivendell and the elves point out that the ponies need shoeing. I’m not surprised the elves have noticed; They’ve been on the road for over a month now. In general, horse shoes are good for 6-8 weeks, with some variation for intensity of work. The dwarves work with metal, so I’m willing to believe that at least one of them can shoe a horse. And the elves probably have a guy. We don’t get to hear about it, though, because somehow a party of thirteen dwarves, one Hobbit, and a wizard can ride all the way from Hobbiton to Rivendell without developing a healthy obsession with horse shoes and hoof health. They have bigger fish to fry than the care and handling of ponies. There’s a map and some trolls and a horde of fascinating treasures of dubious provenance. There’s no point in the reader forming an emotional connection to the ponies. They don’t even have names.

The ponies are a soulless, uncomplicated means of transportation until chapter four, when they are eaten by goblins. At this point, Tolkien finally acknowledges that they were really excellent ponies. They were, and they didn’t deserve to die unlamented.

The next leg of the trip involves emergency evacuation from goblin territory by giant eagles, who get far more consideration than the ponies despite being significantly less comfortable. A few days later, Gandalf finds Beorn, who replaces the ponies for the dwarves’ trek to Mirkwood. Then they have to send them back because Beorn won’t let them take ponies into the wood. Beorn has a rational understanding of the limitations of ponies, and he’s watching over them in the shape of a bear.

Once everyone escapes from the wood-elves and travels down the falls or the river or whatever in barrels, the people of Lake-town provide Thorin and his crew with two more ponies. Each. Thirteen dwarves, a Hobbit, and twenty-eight ponies are headed up the mountain to Smaug’s lair. Smaug eats six of them. Three are found later and sent riderless back to the south, which is ridiculous because ponies aren’t homing pigeons. Bilbo brings one strong pony to carry his treasure on the way home. It also goes unnamed, and what he does with it Tolkien never says. I hope he boards it at the stable three hills over where they have a lot of turnout and good access to trails. But I doubt it.

Ellen Cheeseman-Meyer teaches history and reads a lot.

J.R.R. Tolkien and George R.R. Martin Battle, Epically, Through Rap

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Tolkien vs Martin Rap Battle

Epic Rap Battles of History tend to be hit-or-miss, but their latest falls on the ‘hit’ side of the spectrum. George R.R. Martin takes on J.R.R. Tolkien, and both gentlemen get in some decent jabs, with Martin pointing out that “There’s edgier plots in David the Gnome” and Tolkien countering that “C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing how you and Jon Snow both know nothing.” And yes, Led Zeppelin makes a cameo appearance. Watch below!

[via Neatorama!]

Robert Jordan: America’s Tolkien

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robertjordan-photo

In 2005, Lev Grossman of Time Magazine declared that George R. R. Martin was “the American Tolkien.” Since then, you’ll be able to find the phrase splashed on just about every one of Martin’s wonderful novels.

And for good reason, of course. That’s a really awesome blurb. I’d love it on my own novels. Or how about just “the American Pullman”? I would be totally cool with that, Mr. Grossman!

Unfortunately, I think that my series The Shards of Heaven—while it follows Philip Pullman’s superb His Dark Materials in ultimately positing a new origin story for the gods—would not be the right fit for the comparison. Pullman’s series is a parallel world fantasy fundamentally in dialogue with John Milton, William Blake, and C. S. Lewis; my series is a historical fantasy set during the time of Antony and Cleopatra that dialogues with history, legend, and myth. He and I are really doing different things. And the same kind of differentiation is true, I think, of Martin and Tolkien. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire might exist in the shadow of The Lord of the Rings—I’ve written elsewhere about its quasi-“medieval” setting—but they are tremendously different works in tone, scale, and intent. As terrific as his work is (and, seriously, you can put down the pitchforks if you’re a fan of Westeros), George R. R. Martin isn’t the American Tolkien.

Robert Jordan is.

In the most simple terms, that’s what I want to argue in this essay: James Oliver Rigney, Jr., writing as Robert Jordan, created a work of literature—and I certainly don’t use that term lightly—that is best understood through the lens of Tolkien’s own creative project. The Wheel of Time is the most prominent and successful American response to Tolkien’s masterwork.

So let’s begin with the deceptively simple matter of what it was that Tolkien was up to in his creation of Middle-earth. And for that we need to understand, at a root level, what Tolkien did for a living.

J. R. R. Tolkien

J. R. R. Tolkien

Tolkien was a philologist by both trade and mindset. Like me, he was a professional academic who taught medieval literature at a university and wrote in his spare time between grading student papers. And I mean this latter point quite literally: Tolkien’s first published book of Middle-earth, The Hobbit, was supposedly begun when he was grading exams in his office one hot summer day, exhausted and no doubt exasperated. He turned the page of one of the exams to find that the student had left the next page, as he put it, “blessedly blank.” On that blank page, Tolkien wrote, for reasons he could never explain, the following:

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.

Tolkien later claimed that he stopped grading at that point, and he then spent quite a long time staring at the words he’d mindlessly written. And because he was a philologist, he stared in particular at that last word — hobbit — trying to figure out what it meant. He couldn’t recall having ever seen it before. (Or so he claimed; the origin of the word has been recently cast into doubt.) That search for meaning ultimately dovetailed with a history of elves and men that he’d been pondering in the trenches of the First World War, and from their creative combination Middle-earth was born. To understand Tolkien at all—and, as I’m going to argue, the same ought to be said of Jordan—you must understand that he was a philologist at heart, the kind of fellow who would, in the end, construct a world out of a word.

Philology literally means “love of learning,” which is something I’d like to think has been around as long as homo sapiens have had the ability to think. Yet when I say that Tolkien was a philologist I have something more specific in mind, something that could be said to begin in 1786 in Calcutta, then the capital of British India. Sir William Jones had founded the Asiatic Society two years earlier to promote the academic study of India and the East, and on this occasion he gave a lecture—without PowerPoint or Prezi, poor chap—to the Society about some correspondences he’d been noticing between the languages of Latin, Greek, Sanskrit, and Persian.

Sir William Jones

Sir William Jones

The languages were similar enough at times that he suggested that they must be “sprung from some common source which, perhaps, no longer exists.”

Numerous scholars poured their minds into the exploration of such linguistic connections, and by the middle of the nineteenth century they had determined many of the laws that govern language change—the reasons, for example, that we don’t pronounce English the same way we did in the year 1000.

As scholars figured out the laws that took us from Beowulf to Chaucer to what we speak today, they were able to run those laws “backwards” from the oldest records—stuff like Beowulf—working further and further back in time until what once had been different languages started to coalesce into one.

This idea went over like hotcakes at a maple syrup convention. Everyone wanted a piece. The correspondences Jones had seen in 1786 were, it turned out, right on target: behind Latin, Greek, Sanskrit, and Persian—among other languages—is a single language that no longer survives but almost undoubtedly existed. We call it Proto-Indo-European, and we mark its words with asterisks, because they no longer exist in their original form; they’re only known by the altered remnants they left behind. Here, for example, we can see the similarities between the word for man in several different languages, along with the theoretically constructed Proto-Indo-European originator behind them all (which is marked with an asterisk as it does not survive in any material form):

Old English: guma
Latin: humus
Greek: khamai
PIE: *dhghem

What’s interesting about Tolkien’s personal brand of philology, though, is that for him the history of words was a means to profound cultural insight.

As one example, Modern Hindustani dudh, which has the same root as we have in our Modern English word daughter, doesn’t mean “daughter,” but “milk.” So duhitar, the Hindustani cognate to English daughter, means not “daughter” but “little milker.” From this linguistic connection, we might presume that daughters, in that distant Indo-European culture that gave rise to both Hindustani and English, must have regularly done the milking of the livestock. They were the little milkers. For philologists, the modern remnants of dead languages, like overgrown ruins in an ancient landscape, provide a window into the past that would otherwise be closed to us forever. The words quite literally tell stories.

I’ve gone on about this at some length because, well, I think it’s really cool. But also because it’s exactly what Tolkien was doing in his fiction. Tolkien was always careful to term his mythology as one that is ultimately meant to be associated with our world, fantastic though it might seem at times: “This is a story of long ago,” he writes in the Foreword to The Hobbit; not, we should note, “a story of long ago in a galaxy far, far away” or the like. Thus Middle-earth’s legends are connected to our legends, its languages to our languages, and its people to our people—if all at a distance deep in the fictional mists before recorded history. Middle-earth, in other words, is the result of the application of philological principles (finding words behind words, stories behind stories) to mythology. Tolkien scholar Tom Shippey has elsewhere termed the resulting mythology-behind-mythologies an “asterisk-reality,” thus underscoring its philological basis since, as I noted earlier, non-extant words whose existences are rooted out by linguistic laws are typically preceded by asterisks to mark their “invention” as missing links in the evolutionary chain of language.

This is not to say that Tolkien thought that the Battle for Helm’s Deep truly occurred somewhere in, say, Eastern Europe, but that something like Helm’s Deep could have occurred there, and perhaps that something like it ought to have occurred there.

I’ve been talking a lot about Tolkien here, but in point of fact this philological creative process is precisely the mantle that I believe Jordan inherited from Tolkien, albeit on a different scale and by a different procedure. Whereas Tolkien built from the nitty gritty of words and languages both real and invented, Jordan, I think, built from the larger scope of our cultural inheritance. Where Tolkien is often said to have aimed to create a “mythology for England,” I think Jordan aimed for something even more daring and profound: a “mythology for mankind.”

But before we get too far into the literary details of this process, I need you to bear with me a bit longer to understand the deeply personal aspect of Tolkien’s fiction, because here, too, I think we will see commonalities with Jordan.

Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, though published widely only in the 1950s, was a work rooted in his experiences of the First World War. Tolkien was 23 when he left Oxford and his new wife, Edith, on the 22nd of March 1916 to go to France to serve as a signal officer with the Lancashire Fusiliers. His destination: The Battle of the Somme. He lost all but one of his friends at the “meatgrinder,” as he termed it, and he might himself have died in those killing fields, those barren and poisoned no-man lands, if he’d not developed trench fever and been shipped back to England to recuperate.

A Trench at the Battle of the Somme

A Trench at the Battle of the Somme

Though he’d toyed with invented languages and stories before the war, it was only in the wake of that horror that he began to construct the mythology of Middle-earth, and indeed we can see the marks of the Somme and its aftermath across his work. As but one more example, I’ve written elsewhere about how Frodo, I believe, is quite literally suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, more commonly termed “shellshock,” a condition first diagnosed among the hollowed faces of men at the Battle of the Somme. Indeed, I suspect writing Frodo was a way for Tolkien to cope with his own psychological difficulties as a result of what he had seen and done in the war. Even so, Frodo is not simply a personal foil for his creator; he also has mythological ties to Enoch and Elijah, Norse religion, and the Christian Everyman.

The major result of these many creative strands, The Lord of the Rings, was, as we all know, a really big hit, so it’s no surprise that a great many writers had to react to his work in one way or another, like Roger Zelazny’s Nine Princes in Amber, which debuted in the early 1970s.

1977 saw the start of two significant fantasy series that responded even more strongly to Tolkien: Terry Brooks’ The Sword of Shannara, which sought to emulate The Lord of the Rings almost point-by-point, and Stephen R. Donaldson’s Lord Foul’s Bane, which seemed at times determined to undercut it. But while I myself have enjoyed these books in their time, their foundations do not run as deep as Tolkien’s work.

The Eye of the World Robert Jordan Wheel of TimeNo, it isn’t until we get to the release, in 1990, of The Eye of the World, that I feel we can really begin to see someone taking up Tolkien’s flag with authority. The Wheel of Time series, which James Rigney, writing as Robert Jordan, began in this book, is a true successor, a true heir, to the kind of mythically philological trail of creation that Tolkien had blazed some fifty years earlier. Like Tolkien’s Middle-earth, the world of the Wheel is a myth behind myths. The wondrous Age of Legends, the “far past” of Jordan’s plot-lines in The Wheel of Time, is our mythically Atlantean past just as surely as is Tolkien’s story of the fall of Númenor from the Silmarillion. Again and again in Jordan’s work we see this same kind of mythological revision that is the hallmark of Tolkien’s work. Just to give you a feel for it:

Jordan’s Artur Pendraeg is like our King Arthur Pendragon; the sa’angreal have clear roots in the stories of the Holy Grail; Shai’tan bears not just an orthological resemblance to Satan; Sammael is no doubt based on the Talmudic angel of death; the final battle of Tarmon Gai’don owes not just a little to biblical Armageddon; Lews Therin is similar in several respects to the Vulgate’s “Light-bearer,” Lucifer; and the Battle of Malden clearly owes most of its letters to the historical Battle of Maldon. The list could go on and on.

And not just in this mythological foundation is Jordan akin to Tolkien. From 1968 to 1970 James Rigney served his country for two tours in Vietnam, in the midst of heavy conflict as an Army helicopter gunner. Decorated heavily for his bravery—he earned a Distinguished Flying Cross with bronze oak leaf cluster, the Bronze Star with “V” and bronze oak leaf cluster, and two Vietnamese Gallantry Crosses with palm—Rigney was a man who, like Tolkien, had experienced the horror of modern warfare first-hand and was undoubtedly shaped by it. In the fullness of time, when a complete biography of Rigney’s is finally available, I feel certain that critics will see Vietnam in his work just as surely as we find the First World War in Tolkien’s.

The gunner's view of Vietnam.

The gunner’s view of Vietnam.

For all these similarities, however, Jordan is not simply a Tolkien imitator. I have called him “An American Tolkien,” and that adjective signifies more than just nationality in this case. It points to a significant difference in his creative approach. America is, famously, a melting pot of culture, and I think Jordan subsumed—consciously or not—this same quality in the Wheel of Time. Tolkien wanted to construct a myth for England and so confined himself often to a Western cultural heritage, but Jordan, if I’m right, aimed at much bigger things. Everything was fair game for his creation, from Eastern myths to Native American cosmology. There are connections seemingly everywhere.

I say “everything was fair game,” and I want to be clear on this point. Jordan’s grand project involved not just story and myth, but even material culture.

As my students will attest, I rather enjoy a little show-and-tell. I own a handful of medieval weapon replicas, and I take much pleasure in bringing them in to class now and then to help them visualize the history and literature we happen to be studying.

Alas, the internet doesn’t yet support touch and feel displays—much less Smell-O-Vision—so we’re going to have to rely on pictures.

Robert Jordan's katana.

Robert Jordan’s katana.

Pictured here is a katana, and an extraordinarily beautiful one at that. The primary weapon for the medieval samurai, the katana is a rightfully famed symbol of both Asian craftsmanship and the codes of honor by which the samurai lived. This particular example of a katana, however, is quite special to me because it comes from Jim Rigney’s personal armory. He was an avid collector of material culture, and weaponry appears to have been high and often on his wishlists. I cannot say that I drooled the first time I saw his collection—I try to be too cool under fire for that—but I was truly astonished at what he literally had at hand while he was writing his books. And it shows.

Jordan's Heron-marked Sword

Look, for instance, at the “heron-marked” blade from Jordan’s books. A weapon associated with a true artist’s mastery of the bladed fight, the heron-marked sword bears not just a little resemblance to a katana. Easy to note is the slightly backswept, single-edged blade, which adds velocity to what is primarily a slashing weapon.

Both weapons are light enough to be handled with one hand, but they have hilts long enough for two, much like a medieval European bastard sword, an example of which I also happen to have here.

A hand-and-a-half sword.

This is a hand-and-a-half sword that’s a replica of the fourteenth-century blade of England’s Black Prince. You can see how differently this weapon is designed from its contemporary Japanese counterpart. Where the katana whispers grace and flow, the bastard sword cries havoc and crushing blows.

Look back again, then, at Jordan’s creation: the heron-mark blade. An Eastern edge, but a Western sword’s weight. An Eastern point, but a Western guard. And a hilt that seems to be both at once.

In other words, Jordan has applied philological principles to material culture, something Tolkien never dared in quite the same way. He’s created a sword that unites the finest of both East and West. Physical artifacts like his katana were a driving force to his vision no less than the myths that they represent and recreate. Even setting this aside, though, we can be certain that objects like this spurred Jordan’s creative energy. There’s no doubt that he physically held such weapons in his hands now and again in order to make his vivid writing more real—I can attest that I certainly do the same when I’m writing my own stories—but we also cannot set aside the fact that he always held them in his mind, too, using such material evidence to widen the scope of the Wheel of Time as far and as deep into human culture as he could manage.

But even this isn’t the full story of Jordan’s methods. You might well note that in speaking of his use of myths behind myths I gave myself a lot of wiggle room. Because these aren’t exact equivalences. The Battle of Malden, for instance, is spelled rather like Maldon, but its ground and tactics are far closer to the Battle of Crécy in 1346. And to say that Lews Therin “equals” Lucifer in all his manifestations is to tread on very shaky ground.

Tolkien once railed against the idea that The Lord of the Rings was an allegory, because, in his opinion, proper allegory implies that a reader can swap elements from one story out for another in a one-to-one relationship. As he wrote: “I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence.” It was his distrust of allegory that stands most pointedly between his work and that of his friend C.S. Lewis, who embraced allegory wholeheartedly.

Though I can’t say I know for certain, I think Jordan’s opinion on allegories was far closer that of Tolkien than that of Lewis. In The Wheel of Time, pure allegorical equivalence is a rare thing, indeed. His character Mat, for instance, appears to be an amalgamation of the Norse gods Odin, Loki, and Heimdall, along with Native American Coyote, Egyptian Anubis, and Celtic Math (who I suspect to be the origin of his name), as well as some real world folks, such as the Swampfox, Francis Marion. There are pieces of these men and gods scattered here and there throughout Mat, but we cannot necessarily jump to conclusions because of them.

Yes, Mat was hung upon a tree to gain knowledge, just as Odin was. Yes, he carries a spear and wears a wide-brimmed hat, just as Odin does. Yes, both men are associated with ash, and with “Thought,” and “Memory”—the names of Odin’s ravens. And Matrim certainly has a god’s own remarkable luck. Yes, he loses one of his eyes just as Odin does. But while these mythological connections can be fascinating, they are not fully predictive. And they shouldn’t be. Odin dies at Ragnarok, for example, killed by the great wolf-beast Fenrir. Yet (spoiler alert!) Mat was hardly pitching up the daisies after Tarmon Gai’don. In fact, he survives in part due to the sounding of the Horn of Valere by a man named Olver, who in so doing becomes a kind of manifestation of Olivier from The Song of Roland—a “perfected” Olivier, who doesn’t let Roland’s last stand kill them all.

And what are we to do with Perrin, that amalgamation of the Slavic deity Perun and Norse Thor? Thor, according to the Eddic materials, dies in fight against the world serpent, Jormangundr, at Ragnarok: after striking his last blow, Thor famously staggers nine steps away from the serpent’s poisonous fangs before falling to his knees. For good reason, then, many of us were wondering if Perrin would make a fatal strike against the Aes Sedai or the White Tower itself. After all, within the world of the Wheel, the Norse world serpent eating its own tail—known from other mythologies as Ouroboros—is the symbol of the Aes Sedai. But we know that Perrin didn’t make such a strike, at least not directly. Again, these connections are fast and permanent. The Wheel of Time is widely and often specifically applicable, but it is not purely allegorical.

And as one more example, the Forsaken named Semirhage is at once the historical man Josef Mengele, the Hindu goddess Kali, the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet, and Enoch’s Shemhaza, among others. Peculiarly, in taking Rand’s hand she also took on the role of the Fenris wolf from Norse mythology—the same wolf that kills Odin at Ragnarok and thus ought to be around to kill Mat in the Last Battle. This was difficult for her to do, of course, given the fact that she’d been subjected to balefire.

Regardless, the point here is to say that Jordan appears to have viewed the whole history of humanity as grist for his creative mill, blending influences from Rome, Greece, India, Egypt, China, America, long ago, and yesterday wherever they fit.

While these might appear at first glance to be random or even sloppy associations, the interference of legend and history, history and legend, seems to be a grounding principle of Jordan’s vision. Time is cyclical—a wheel—and, in its repetitious spin, history repeats itself again and again.

In this understanding of the nature of time, too, we see separation between this American Tolkien and his British forebear. Tolkien, a devout Catholic, followed the example of St. Augustine in viewing the world as subject to a dynamic, uni-directional scheme of time. In chronological philosophy, this is called the “A-theory” of time, where time passes like an arrow, advancing undeviatingly from some beginning to some ending point. In A-theory, only the present time is truly real, as the past is finished and the future is indeterminate and unfixed—except, perhaps, from the point of view of God.

A-theory is the most familiar philosophy of time in human experience, reflected even at such a base level as our language, with its system of tenses past, present, and future. Yet I don’t think that this is the philosophy that governs Jordan’s world. Quite to the contrary, Rigney, a self-described “high-church Episcopalian,” is right in line with current theories of quantum Physics.

We call this the “B-theory” of time, where past, present, and future are all equally real. According to B-theorists, the future is just as fixed and determined as the past, we just know less about it. Brilliantly, Rigney has welded this concept with the Buddhist Wheel of Time, the Kalachakra.

As an aside, Augustine’s concerns about time—those reflected by Tolkien but I think rejected in Jordan’s work—are the subject of a 1955 essay, “Time and Contingency in St. Augustine,” which was published in the Review of Metaphysics by one Robert Jordan, then a professor at the University of the South. A peculiar coincidence—if coincidence it is—that there should be a connection between this otherwise obscure academic and this particular pen-name of Rigney’s, which he himself said was not from Hemingway’s For Whom the Bell Tolls.

At any rate, B-theory generally regards the distinction between past, present, and future to be a matter of semantics, with at least one interpretative strand of it focusing on time as a cyclical construction—a wheel of time, in other words. The future is past, the past is future, now is then and then is now. If you stand on a wheel, after all, it doesn’t matter which way you walk, you’ll get back to the same place.

This basic temporal fact, too often missed by readers, sheds light on a number of—shall we say—anomalies in this fantasy. In chapter 4 of The Eye of the World, for instance, we meet Thom Merrilin, the “gleeman” full of stories and mysteries, and oftentimes both at once—who is himself an homage to Merlin the magician.

“Tell us about Lenn,” one of the characters asks him. “How he flew to the moon in the belly of an eagle made of fire. Tell about his daughter Salya walking among the stars.”

“Old stories, those,” Thom Merrilin said, and abruptly he was juggling three colored balls with each hand. “Stories from the Age before the Age of Legends, some say. Perhaps even older. … Tales of Mosk the Giant, with his Lance of Fire that could reach around the world, and his wars with Alsbet, the Queen of All. Tales of Materese the Healer, Mother of the Wondrous Ind.”

If you don’t know, those are references to John Glenn, the Apollo Program, Sally Ride, the ICBM threat from Moscow, Queen Elizabeth, and Mother Teresa of Calcutta.

And if that doesn’t make the point, see this description from The Shadow Rising of some of the things a character finds in the Tanchico Museum of the Panarch’s Palace:

On one side of the room was the skeleton of something that looked like a bear, if a bear had two front teeth as long as her forearm, and opposite it on the other side were the bones of some slender, four-tooted beast with a neck so long the skull was half as high as the ceiling. … A silvery thing in another cabinet, like a three-pointed star inside a circle, was made of no substance she knew; it was softer than metal, scratched and gouged, yet even older than any of the ancient bones. From ten paces she could sense pride and vanity.

That is to say, the skull of a saber-toothed tiger, the skeleton of a giraffe, and a used hood ornament from a Mercedes-Benz.

This last one, by the way, was my favorite example of a seeming anomaly in Jordan’s work—until the first time I spent a few minutes in Jim’s library and office. Standing there in awe, feeling that magical sensation of wonder and familiarity, I turned to see, set high upon one of Jim’s shelves, a saber-toothed tiger skull and realized, with a sudden lurch of bright recognition, that I was myself standing in the Tanchico Museum.

So what does all this mean? How on Earth is this supposed to make any sense?

Well, to begin with, we must admit that, like Tolkien’s Middle-earth, Jordan’s world is Earth.

Our Earth. But unlike Tolkien’s A-theory sub-creation which was meant to be our past, Jordan’s B-theory sub-creation is both our past and our future. The cyclical nature of Jordan’s time means the Age of Legends is Atlantean myth, Golden Age history, and Science Fictional vision. His heron-marked blade is both the asterisk-sword behind Japanese katana and Western bastard swords and the idealized sword-to-come that has been grown from the foundation of those two legendary weapons.

It turns out, then, that—for once—the fateful decision of bookstores and publishers to collapse Fantasy and Science Fiction to the same rows of shelves is perfectly fitting.

When I earlier told you about that scene of the gleeman Thom Merrilin introducing himself as a storyteller, a scene that occurs very early in the first book of Jordan’s long series, what I didn’t tell is the rest of what he said.

“I have all stories, mind you now, of Ages that were and will be,” Thom says. “Ages when men ruled the heavens and the stars, and Ages when man roamed as brother to the animals. Ages of wonder, and Ages of horror. Ages ended by fire raining from the skies, and Ages doomed by snow and ice covering land and sea. I have all stories, and I will tell all stories.”

I hope we can see now how Thom might well be said to be speaking not just for himself, but for the greater work of literature of which he is a part.

James Rigney’s passing affected his millions of readers very deeply, and much has been made of how he left the final book of the Wheel of Time unfinished. We have seen, however, how hard that Brandon Sanderson worked—with the extraordinary, indefatigable help of Jim’s family and friends—to write those final pages: he understands the fan’s love for these works. But it is important to note that, even as Brandon’s last pages are turned in and the final book has been closed at last, the story will live on. The Wheel of Time, Jordan’s lasting legacy, will never be complete. It cannot be. After all, our futures, and indeed one might say the fullness of our pasts, remains for us forever incomplete. In memory, as in hope and dream, there’s always another chapter to be written.

James Rigney was not the first heir to the Tolkien legacy—and by no means will he be the last to follow him—but he might just be the most complete interpreter of that legacy. Rooted in mythology and history, founded in philosophy and spirituality, forged of war and the American experience, his Wheel of Time has easily earned its place alongside the British master fantasist. Even more, given the academic status Tolkien’s work has managed to achieve, the work of Robert Jordan has earned its place on any list of turn-of-the-millennium literature, whether the majority of critics like it or not.

And thus, in the end, we come full circle, which is, I think, exactly how Jim would have liked it.

Michael Livingston is a Professor of Medieval Literature at The Citadel who has written extensively both on medieval history and on modern medievalism. The Gates of Hell, the second volume in The Shards of Heaven, his historical fantasy series set in Ancient Rome, comes out this fall from Tor Books.

Dwarven Skyscrapers! If Everyone in Middle-Earth Was a Style of Architecture

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LOTR art noveau art deco

This recent reblog from Tumblr artist RomanYon certainly caught the eye. Now I know when my New York City surroundings mimic the graceful whorls of classically Elven work, or the strong sharp patterns of Dwarven craft!

Architectural works in art nouveau can be difficult to distinguish from works in art deco, as the two terms tend to be used interchangeably when referring to buildings, facades, and metalwork in NYC, even though, like their respective races, the styles often clash. The Lord of the Rings comparison offered by RomanYon is very handy for keeping the two separate in this regard! That Chrysler Building? A Dwarven skyscraper if ever there was one. (Though there wasn’t.) That iron fence circling Central Park? Clearly the work of Elves!

What kind of art style and architecture would the other races of Middle-earth warrant There are stylistic themes from various eras and movements, but each strongly identifies with one style or another.

Hobbits

The curved and hilly design of Hobbit dwellings is rather unique, coming from their ancestral habit of living underground in holes. Though not all Hobbits lived underground, Tolkien reports:

Actually in the Shire in Bilbo’s days it was, as a rule, only the richest and the poorest Hobbits that maintained the old custom. The poorest went on living in burrows of the most primitive kind, mere holes indeed, with only one window or none; while the well-to-do still constructed more luxurious versions of the simple diggings of old.

As for those houses aboveground, they are described as “long, low, and comfortable… [with] a preference for round windows, and even round doors”. This curving attitude towards buildings brings to mind futurism, and it’s sleek, often rounded appearance. As ironic as the choice may be, there are many similarities in structure, including the plain approach to decorating the very building (not including hanged paintings or personal touches).

the-hobbiton-338

Hobbiton

Archt_style_Hobbit_future

The City of Arts and Sciences Valencia, Spain

But coat that futurist framework with an aesthetic closer to English landscape naturalism, and you get a cozy Hobbit hole instead of a docked spaceship.

800px-John_Constable_028

Wivenhoe Park by John Constable

 

Men (of Gondor)

The architecture of Gondor is hewn from marble and stone, bringing out a regal and proud air to the fantasy kingdoms of The Lord of the Rings, even when they’re depicted in decline. The stonework is reminiscent of classical art and architecture as seen in Greek and Roman Antiquity. Interestingly, although Men are “newer” than Dwarves and Elves, their architectural preferences are older, hewing strictly to the classical architecture of Rome at its height.

Archt_style_Men

The-Palatine-Hill

Palantine Hill in Rome, Italy

 

Men (of Rohan)

The men of Rohan have an architectural style much less grandiose than that of Gondor, even at their walled in fortress of Helm’s Deep. From the largely wood and iron buildings to the decorative designs, the Rohirrim resonate easily with Norse styles and Viking accommodations.

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Archt_style_Men_Rohan-viking1

Urnes Stave Church in Ornes, Norway

Edoras

Trelleborg-Viking-hall-fortification-in-Denmark.jpg

Trelleborg Viking Hall, Denmark

The Lord of the Rings is a wonderful shorthand for architectural styles that span hundreds of years of history.

  • Elves = Art Nouveau
  • Dwarves = Art Deco
  • Hobbits = Futurism + Naturalism
  • Gondor = Roman Antiquity
  • Rohan = Norse

Funny how the older races of Middle Earth tend to prefer the more recent artistic movements. Next time you stroll by The Gherkin in London, take a moment to admire the Hobbit-ness of it!

(To get more in-depth with Lord of the Rings and architecture, check out the Middle-earth Architectures blog!)

Genre Fiction’s Greatest Spiders

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Baby Aragog by Roby

Spiders don’t get enough positive attention! They’re fantastic little beasts, and when we decided to round up a list of our favorite fictional arachnids, everyone was only too happy to chime in on the email thread… but once it came time to do the necessary image search, literally everyone else became queasy when they thought of how many creepy crawly creatures they’d have to look at.

Ridiculous.

Spiders are the BEST. They eat all the truly terrifying bugs like roaches, and they have pretty eyes, and they move in such a wonderful random scuttley fashion that leaves you no way to predict where they’re trying to go, or how close they’re going to come to you, or if they might jump on you and crawl into your hair or walk across your face while you sleep! Spiders bring spontaneity into their every interaction with humanity, and dammit, I think they deserve celebration. So here are 11 of our favorites. And before you click through, note how artist Roberta Tedeschi shows us just how cute a spider can be with the above picture of Li’l Aragog.

 

Charlotte A. Cavatica, Joy, Nellie, and Aranea—Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Charlotte by Garth Williams

Charlotte by Garth Williams

This list is going to get pretty scary, so we’ll start with somebody friendly. Charlotte A. Cavatica is a kind, motherly arachnid who decides to help poor runty Wilbur the Pig avoid death-by-bacon. With a vocabulary assist from a wily rat named Templeton, she weaves unique words into her web in order to make Wilbur famous, and since the farmers think the words are a sign from God, the pig becomes too much of a cultural juggernaut to kill. This is one of the rare books that allows a spider to make a noble sacrifice, and it made me cry for days when I was a child, and it might be one of the reasons why I love spiders so much. Of course, White gives us a somewhat happy ending by providing Wilbur with Charlotte’s daughters, Joy, Nellie, and Aranea.

 

Aragog—Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter's Aragog Impression

Aragog is the Acromantula who proves an important pop cultural rule: if you suffer from arachnophobia, do not, under any circumstances, tell anyone, ever. Telling someone that you fear spiders, muttering that fact to yourself as you walk through the woods, thinking it too loudly—any of these actions guarantees that you will come face-to-face with the biggest freaking spider in your area. (See also: Stephen King’s IT, below) In the Potterverse it’s poor downtrodden Ronald Weasley who stupidly mentions his fear of spiders, which sets off a ticking time bomb of plot that leads to Aragog, a spider that is literally elephant-sized (eighteen-foot leg span!!!), and who turns out to be the original patsy blamed for students’ deaths the first time the Chamber of Secrets was opened. Aragog is never exactly friendly, but he is loyal to Hagrid. You can see another excellent rendition of Aragog included in this concept art by Adam Brockbank.

 

Astrophil—The Kronos Chronicles by Marie Rutkoski

Astrophil in The Cabinet of Wonders

Astrophil is a mechanical tin spider and co-star of Marie Rutkoski’s Kronos Chronicles. He’s a constant companion to Petra Chronos, and likes to hide in her hair when at all possible. Or, well, not hide exactly, as he is a very brave spider, but still, it’s more comfortable up there. He can see danger better from up there, the better to combat it, and not hide from it, no not at all. You can read an interview with him here.

 

The Giant Spider—Spiderlight by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Spiderlight cover detail

Cover art by Tyler Jacobson

Spiderlight is a rollicking sword-and-sorcery tale in which an intrepid band of warriors sets out to face a Dark Lord and fulfill a Great Prophecy. The band being the usual suspects: High Priestess, Mage, Warriors, Thief, and Giant Spider. And lo our—wait a second. The Giant Spider is part of the band? It isn’t a monster the band fights on the way through, say, some dank and terrifying cavern?

Do you even Shelob, bro?

Hang on, let me check the book… yes, this is correct: the Spider is a hero!

We’re guessing that’s going to lead to some sticky situations.

 

Shelob—The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Oh, Shelob. Shelob was a Great Spider, the child of Ungoliant (who was actually not a spider, technically, but a Primordial taking a spidery shape—see also: Stephen King’s IT.) and, as if that wasn’t enough, Sauron treated her like a pet cat. Here’s her intro from The Two Towers:

But still she was there, who was there before Sauron, and before the first stone of Barad-dûr; and she served none but herself, drinking the blood of Elves and Men, bloated and grown fat with endless brooding on her feasts, weaving webs of shadow; for all living things were her food, and her vomit darkness.

She is the proud star of the most terrifying sequence in all of Lord of the Rings, and brought to perfect, clicking, cocoon-rolling glory in Peter Jackson’s adaptation of The Return of the King. The best bit, though, is that Jackson humanizes Shelob just enough that when Sam stabs her in the eye and belly to protect his precious Frodo, her cries of pain and confusion are actually pretty affecting.

Or maybe that’s just me?

 

A Whole Mess of Spiders – The Hatching by Ezekiel Boone

The Hatching cover art by

The Hatching cover and slipcase

There isn’t one spider to highlight in Ezekiel Boone’s The Hatching, there are roughly a billion of them. (Go stare at that title for a second, think about the worst possible implications of that title.) An FBI agent is called in to investigate the mysterious death of tech billionaire… who has eight sets of tiny fingerprints on his… no, not really. I’m teasing about that part. What the FBI agent discovers is actually far worse. Meanwhile, a scientist named Melanie Guyer receives a package, from Peru, containing an egg sac. Boone weaves the various silken threads together as the FBI agent, Mike Rich, tries to get ahead of the ickiest invasion ever, Dr. Guyer tries to figure out what’s in the egg sac, tectonic rumblings are felt in India, and China seemingly drops a nuclear bomb… on itself? The Hatching takes an impressively terrible doomsday scenario and adds spiders, making it one of the creepiest books of all time.

 

The Weavers—Perdido Street Station by China Miéville

The Weaver in Perdido Street Station

This lovely, ethereal rendition of The Weaver comes courtesy of One Over Epsilon.

I have danced with the spider. I have cut a caper with the dancing mad god.

China Miéville’s Weavers aren’t technically spiders, but they are giant, multi-dimensional spider-like creatures, and they do spin webs (of a sort), so I figured I’d include them. To The Weavers, life itself is a web, and each Weaver needs to make its choices to create the most aesthetically perfect patterns from life. So what the Weavers weave, essentially, is space-time. Their minds and motivations are so far beyond most mortals that men can go mad from watching them weave, they speak in a sort of poetic monologue (which doesn’t exactly lend itself to clarity from a mortal’s point of view) and they subsist on beauty rather than what most creatures would consider food.

 

Giant Alien Spider Invasion—Breeding Ground and Feeding Ground by Sarah Pinborough

Breeding Ground by Sarah Pinborough

Don’t worry, the spiders just want to make sure we’re warm enough.

Sarah Pinborough’s duology marries three fantastic concepts: fear of spiders, body horror, and… the apocalypse! When Londoners Matt and Chloe find out they’re expecting a child they’re overjoyed, but then Chloe‘s body begins changing much faster than it should. And why is she getting meaner? Matt finally figures out that most of the women in the world have been invaded by horrible spider-like aliens. And then things get really bad when Chloe gives birth… Feeding Ground expands on the concept, with a tiny group of human survivors banding together to try to escape London…but first they have to get past webs, telepathic spider-aliens, and worst of all: the cocoons of still-living victims.

 

Demonic Recluses—The Killing Kind by John Connolly

John Connolly's The Killing Kind

It’s true: the spiders in The Killing Kind do, in fact, kill people.

But it’s not their fault!

In this supernaturally-tinged entry in Connolly’s Charlie Parker series, a true villain by the name of Mr. Pudd uses recluse spiders as living, crawling, biting bioweapons. In case that doesn’t sound creepy enough for you, Parker only runs afoul of Pudd while he’s researching a questionable suicide that leads him back to an ancient relic and a shadowy fundamentalist cult that my have slaughtered an early Baptist community. And in case that still wasn’t enough, Parker is also being haunted by the ghost of a little boy, and Pudd might actually be a demon, and spiders keep crawling out of people’s mouths, which, after that happens a couple times? It starts to become unsettling.

 

It (Spider-form)—Stephen King’s It by, wait for it, Stephen King

Pennywise by artist Ray Dillon

Pennywise Clown/Spider hybrid by artist Ray Dillon

It isn’t technically a spider, but rather is some sort of terrifying primal evil—with more than a hint of Lovecraftian eldritchness to it—that has haunted the tiny cursed town of Derry, Maine since the beginning of time. Over the course of the book, It possesses various people, including a school bully and a main character’s abusive husband, and also appears as a werewolf, a giant Paul Bunyan, and, most famously, Pennywise the clown. But when it really wants to terrifying people, It shows them Its true form, the “deadlight”, which is a sort of writhing orangish tentacley form. Since the human mind can’t comprehend the deadlights, anyone faced with them sees an enormous spider…which is MUCH better.

 

Mr. Nancy—American Gods/Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

Mr. Nancy by Ana Dias

Mr. Nancy by Ana Dias

There are other trickster gods out there, but Mr. Nancy is definitely one of the best. In the original tales of the Ashanti people of present-day Ghana, Anansi was the clever spider, getting into and out of trouble, and sometimes appearing as a man. His stories spread through the Caribbean and the Southern United States, where they influenced and were influenced by Bantu Br’er Rabbit and Native American Tar Wolf stories. In American Gods and Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman took the Anansi stories and folded them into his sprawling mythology about how the gods came to America. In AG, the old gods are fighting with the new deities of technology and media that have begun ruling people’s lives. In AB, Gaiman follows Mr. Nancy’s sons as they fight with another old god over storytelling itself. Technically, there aren’t too many spiders in these books, but the clever, web-weaving arachnid spirit shines through both.

 

So how’d I do? Did I miss your favorite arachnid? Let me know in the comments! And feel free to post as many adorable spider pictures as you want.

Leah Schnelbach hopes that she’s convinced you of the awesomeness of Spiderkind. She occasionally weaves very small webs of words over on Twitter.

7 Different Ways Fantasy Has Used Language as Magic

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Eye of Magnus Skyrim

There are many ways to structure a magic system in a fantasy story, and even though expressing magic through language is one of the most obvious methods for a story to utilize (“abracadabra!” and all that), it is also somewhat rare. Language is precise, complex, and in a constant state of change, making it daunting for an author to create, and even more daunting for a reader to memorize.

There are some interesting shortcuts that fantasy stories have utilized over the years, however, some of which are utterly fearless in tackling the challenge inherent in crafting a complex magical language.

 

For Beginners

Just use Latin: Supernatural, Buffy, et al.

Supernatural -- "Inside Man" -- Image SN1017B_0238 -- Pictured (L-R): Richard Newman as Oliver, Jared Padalecki as Sam, and Misha Collins as Castiel -- Credit: Carole Segal/The CW -- © 2015 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

The Roman Catholic Church pronounced Latin as the official language of the church back in 313 C.E. and still utilizes it for sermons and rituals. In the first millennium, the Church used Latin to “dispel” demons from this Earthly plane during exorcisms, the thinking being that God’s word and sentiment was most clearly and directly expressed in Latin, and what demon could withstand such a direct proclamation?

As such, Latin has become identified as containing a mystical, ancient, and otherworldly quality. TV shows and movies with an urban fantasy bent to them, like Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tend to fall back on this shorthand in order to avoid having to create and explain an entire mystical language to their viewers. Latin has become the go-to, off-the-shelf basic package for magical language in a fantasy story.

 

Memorize these terms: Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

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Most spells in the Harry Potter series require a vaguely Latin-esque verbal incantation, although author J.K. Rowling adds a bit of complexity in that these verbalizations need to be demonstrably precise and usually must be accompanied by a specific wand movement. The language magic in the Harry Potter series is one of the few areas of Rowling’s world that remains simplistic: being essentially a dictionary of terms and phonetics to memorize, which is in marked contrast to other worldbuilding aspects to the Harry Potter world. (The Black family tree has more complexity than the world’s entire magic system does.) This makes the language magic easy for young readers to internalize, turning the magic into a series of slogans (“Accio [peanut butter sandwich]!” “Expecto Patronum!” “Expelliarmus!”) instead of a list of terms.

There is an aspect to Rowling’s language magic that interesting and that we may see explored further in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: non-verbal magic used by adults. There are many instances in the book series where older characters are able to create complex, and massively powerful, spells without needing to verbalize them. Does this suggest that language magic in the Harry Potter universe is simply a bridge, a tool of learning, to more complex, non-verbal magic? Or does language magic simply become a reflex over time?

 

For Intermediates

Mix and match until something works: Treasure of the Rudras

treasure-of-the-rudras-mantra-drawer

Treasure of the Rudras is a 16-bit RPG game that harkens back to the wistful days of Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, and Breath of Fire. Although where the aforementioned games would give you predetermined spells to select and use, Rudras differed by creating a basic system that allowed the player to construct their own spells by grouping specific syllables of a language. Crafting a basic element name would summon the weakest version of that spells, but experimenting with adding specific suffixes and prefixes would enhance the strength of those spells, and unlock other added effects. This system was beautifully simply in execution, allowing the developers to skip creating an entire magical language while still giving players the impression that they were active participants in learning and using a magical language. Fittingly, beating the game requires the player to use what they’ve learned of this syllabic magic language system to create a functional and unique spell.

 

Let’s have a chat: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

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Rough Translation: Sahloknir! Your soul is bound to me for eternity!

With the introduction of dragons into the Elder Scrolls franchise came the introduction of the dragon’s language. Functionally, this is the same syllabic system as seen in The Treasure of Rudras, although without the interactivity. Your character is able the use the dragon’s language as form of intensely powerful magic (known as a Thu’um, or Shout), and you do learn specific words and calligraphic symbols for this language, but this only allows the player to translate some of the game’s narration as opposed to crafting new spells.

Still, Skyrim does have one unique use of magical language: The realization that a dragon roasting you with its fire breath is probably just it asking if you’d like a cup of tea.

 

Negotiation: The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

inheritance-covers

What makes the Ancient Language (also the language of the elves) in the Inheritance Cycle unique is that it is a language that affects the universe, but does not allow the universe to read the intent of the caster. So if a character wants to heal a broken shoulder, they can’t simply incant “Heal!” in the Ancient Language. Rather, the caster must be very specific in what it wants the universe to do–move this muscle back into place first, then fuse these two bones, then move that fused bone, etc.–in order to use magic in any useful sense. Where simpler language magics are about finding the correct key for an existing lock, language magics of intermediate complexity add interaction and negotiation with a third party into the mix. In essence, it’s not enough to know the language and its terms, you have to be able to converse in that language, as well.

 

For Advanced Users

Fluidity and interpretation: The Spellwright Trilogy by Blake Charlton

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Magic in Blake Charlton’s Spellwright trilogy, which concludes with Spellbreaker on August 23rd, is a complete character-based magical language consisting of runes that can be formed into paragraphs and larger narratives by the reader and the characters within the fantasy world. Where the Spellwright trilogy focuses its story is in the interpretation and fluidity of that language, asking how a magical language would progress if interpreted and expressed by an individual who would be considered dyslexic in that world. Every Author (as the wizards in this series are called) must be a sufficiently advanced linguist capable of duplicating the runes perfectly in order to use the magic. However, language, while precise in use, is not static over time. Terms change rapidly (ask someone living in the 1980s to “google” something for you, for example) and pronunciations change over regions. (NYC residents can tell you’re from out of town by the way you pronounce “Houston St.”, for example.) The Spellwright series explores the rigidity of language and the necessity of fluidity and error with incredible detail.

 

The world emerges from the language: The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

The-Lord-of-the-Rings-The-Fellowship-of-the-Ring-Movie-Details

The universe in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings was “sung” into existence, and one of the reasons Tolkien is such an undisputed master of the fantasy genre is that he did the work of creating the language that created his universe! Not only that, Tolkien saw how a singular language would be affected by region, nationality, and time, and derived the languages of Middle-earth as branches from that ur-language. Magic that we see used in The Lord of the Rings is entirely-based on that ur-language, and the characters that use it most effectively–Sauron, Saruman, Gandalf, the elves–are the ones with the most direct connection to that originating language.

It is a testament to the power of the magical languages in The Lord of the Rings that they can reach beyond their fictional basis to affect the real world. Conversations can be conducted in Elvish, a child’s name can be (and has been) constructed from Tolkien’s language (“Gorngraw” = impetuous bear!), and the weight of its utility in turn makes the fictional Middle-earth feel incredibly real.


Dream Casting Tom Bombadil for Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings

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Tom Bombadil

We were discussing Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings adaptations, and arguing the relative merits of the Extended Editions versus the Theatrical Releases. (Leah prefers Extended, Emily prefers Theatrical. We’re both correct.) Emily pointed out that there should have been a DVD extra of Bombadil material, and then, naturally, that led to a dreamcasting of Bombadil. We gave ourselves a few restrictions—these had to be people who would have fit the role in 1999/2000, when they would have been hired for The Fellowship of the Ring, and all of the actors have been cast on the assumption that supermodel Claudia Schiffer is playing Goldberry…

So, hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties! Hobbits! Ponies all! Tor.com readers! We are fond of parties. Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together… or at least take a look at our picks, and tell us yours in the comments.

 

John Hurt

John Hurt

Leah: But only if he wore this exact mustache.

Emily: The fact that John Hurt wasn’t in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is just plain weird in the first place. So this would be a pretty great place to make up for that mishap.

 

Anthony Stewart Head

Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles

Leah: He didn’t get to do pure whimsy often enough on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Plus the man looks great in a pointy hat.

Emily: He was “good dad figure” on Buffy and “bad dad figure” on Merlin. Let’s watch him play “super high uncle”!

 

Sting

Sting!

He’s glowing because Orcs are near.

Leah: Just imagine this fucker with a lute singing all of the Tom Bombadil’s songs.

Emily: I wonder if they would all end up sounding like “Desert Rose.” (Leah and I discovered that we both un-ironically love that song while writing this. We’re going to weave some amazing friendship bracelets over that.)

 

Bob Hoskins

Bob Hoskins in Hook (Photo by SNAP/REX)

Leah: OK, we know, this one is sad. But Hoskins could have added some real weight to the role, an undercurrent that lets you know just how ancient Old Tom actually is.

Emily: He’s also got that instant-lovability factor.

 

Robin Williams

Robin Williams in What Dreams May Come

Leah: OK, we know, this is also sad. But imagine what Williams could have done with the role if Jackson had reigned him in just a little.

Emily: Yeah, if you prevent him from riffing too much, it wouldn’t be quite so obvious that you were watching Robin Williams first and foremost, and he has the right kind of impishness.

 

Jim Broadbent

Jim Broadbbent in "And When Did You Last See Your Father?"

Leah: He’s so twinkly!

Emily: And he could play Tom with—say it with us—A GREAT BIG BUSHY BEARD!

 

Any Python Excluding John Cleese

Monty Python

Emily: Cleese is out on this.

Leah: Sorry John Cleese, but you’re too tall and shouty to play Tom Bombadil. Everybody else would be perfect though, especially…

 

Terry Gilliam

TerryGilliam

Emily: So. Perfect.

Leah: Here is a recording of Terry Gilliam’s laugh. He may actually be Tom Bombadil. But after much contemplation, we came to maybe our absolute top pick:

 

Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly

Leah: Tom Bombadil would have allowed Billy Connolly to use all of his manic good humor/sudden whimsical rage muscles.

Emily: I feel like if anyone must have a Scottish accent in Middle-earth, it’s Tom Bombadil. Also, Billy Connolly should be in everything.

 

So these are our picks! Who do you think would have made a bomb-ass Bombadil? Post your picks in the comments below, and in the meantime, sing along with Tom:

There’s also this song by Alan Horvath, if you need even more Bombadilling. (And who doesn’t?)

Which SFF Character Would You Pick to Officiate Your Wedding?

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Gandalf the White, Lord of the RIngs

The Telegraph has reported that Ian McKellen turned down 1.5 million dollars in 2013 to officiate Sean Parker’s (of Facebook and Napster) wedding. The Tolkien-themed nuptials could only have been elevated by the presence of McKellen, but it seems that the couple wanted him to dress as Gandalf for the proceedings, to which he replied: “I am sorry, Gandalf doesn’t do weddings.”

While it is easy to understand McKellen’s reticence, it does get one thinking… if you could pick any SFF character to officiate your wedding, who would you choose?

Genre fans often find ways to loop their interests into the big day, from themed vows to unique rings to appropriate aisle-walking music to full-out cosplay. And of course, many couples opt for the Princess Bride classic at the start of the ceremony—”Mawwiage! Mawwiage is what bwings us together today.”

But nevermind the million dollar paycheck and a celebrity on the program; if you could just grab any old character from one of your favorite worlds to officiate, who would you chose? Someone who would elevate the romance of the proceedings? Someone who wouldn’t take it seriously at all? Someone who might show up to the ceremony after several early drinks at the bar?

Here are a few options to get us started….

 

Marvin, the Paranoid Android (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

Marvin the paranoid android, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Sure, he would probably predict divorce or death or any number of unpleasantries during the vows, but that’s sort of the point, right? Any of his AI or robot brethren would be welcome to try their hand, really. Robot from Lost in Space, Johnny Five from Short Circuit, Jude-Law-the-Gigolo android from A.I., the M-5 computer from Star Trek if you want things to get really interesting. Oo! Ooooo! Wall-E and EVE!

 

Ruby Rhod (The Fifth Element)

Ruby Rhod, The Fifth Element

This radio DJ of the future is liable to give you the raunchiest ceremony you could ask for, and he would be dressed to the absolute nines. Obviously, you’d want to make sure your entire wedding was built to the correct level of drama before asking Rhod to attend, but you’d end up with an event that no one would ever forget.

 

Delirium (Sandman)

Delirium, Sandman, The Kindly Ones

Art by Marc Hempel, colored by Daniel Vozzo

She’d forget what she was doing every 30 seconds (and probably ask her fish to speak now or forever hold their… pieces of eight?) You would have a lovely rainbow of a ceremony, and everyone would leave confused about exactly what event transpired, if they could parse through the evening at all.

 

Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Uncle Iroh, Avatar: The Last Airbender

He would be the warmest, fuzziest officiant in the universe. He would deliver a gorgeous anecdote about the power of love, and talk about how beautiful you were as a couple, how you complimented each other’s strengths and bolstered each other at your weakest. He would brew you a perfect cup of tea and you would cry the whole way through and you wouldn’t feel bad about it.

 

The Worm (Labyrinth)

Worm, Labyrinth

He’s just a worm. A worm with a missus. He’s probably great at officiating. He probably got ordained back before the Labyrinth even existed, and has been dying to use those skills.

 

The Doctor—Preferably 5, 8 or 9 (Doctor Who)

Doctor Who, Nine

Any of the Doctors could officiate, but Five, Eight, and Nine all seem the sorts who would actually get through your ceremony, rather than rushing off to save the world in the middle. Also, Nine would be super psyched that someone thought of him to do something not world-destroying, so he’d be the cutest.

 

Who are your officiant picks?

All We have to Decide is What to Do with the Cuteness that is Given to Us

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Lord of the Rings by 100% Soft

Artist Truck Torrence, AKA 100% Soft, is currently holding the “Mass Hysteria 2” show at Los Angeles’ Gallery 1988! While they’ve transformed characters from Immortan Joe to Drax the Destroyer into adorable little blobs, our favorite piece was this exhaustive Lord of the Rings painting. Not only has Truck somehow made Grima Wormtongue and the Mouth of Sauron cute, but look at huggable Li’l Gollum sitting up there on Mount Doom!

Mass Hysteria 2 is running at Gallery 1988 East until September 17th, but you can also see 100% Soft’s work over at their site!

[via Nerdist!]

Lúthien: Tolkien’s Badass Elf Princess

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Artwork by Anke Eissmann

I think it’s fair to assert that the trope of the damsel in distress has been falling away in contemporary fantasy for some time, but I’d like to shine a light on one who helped break that literary mold even in the 1970s: Lúthien Tinúviel. This famous Elfmaiden, who stars in the iconic love story of J.R.R. Tolkien’s legendarium, didn’t need to be rescued like a video game princess. She broke out of bondage, rescued her own questing boyfriend, and personally took on the big boss at the end of all levels. It’s like… imagine if in the original game, you play as Zelda, and you get to bust her out of Ganon’s prison, find all the Triforce pieces with Link, then fight your way through Death Mountain together.

Let’s be clear. There are innumerable wonderful heroines in the genre, and the list grows every day. I am merely positing that Lúthien, conceptually, is one of the best. This badass heroine rises up from the fairy tale beauty and Eldar privilege of her birthright to get her hands dirty and solve problems like a big girl. She and her mortal betrothed, Beren, are equals even when others around them—immortal and ostensibly wise beings—choose not to see it. They are a two-person army of determination and doom. (To be fair, they do have the help of a magical dog/fifth wheel in their adventures—more on him later.) They are true to one another in the face of every opposition: Lúthien’s own dad, various grudge-bearing Elves, a legion of vile monsters, and a constant barrage of dire prophecies.

You surely know of Éowyn, a real stand-out gal in a big book featuring a hell of a lot of fellas. She’s a woman who does what, truly, no man can: kick the Witch-King’s ass—not just because of a loophole in prophecy but because she has the guts to challenge him. And of course you know of Galadriel, who is both wise and powerful, but in the final days of the Third Age she is more soothsaying and advisory than enemy slaying. And you probably know of Arwen, who is more of a behind-the-scenes mover and the chief source of moral support for Aragorn. We can scoff at Arwen’s assumed demureness—and Tolkien’s decision to keep her largely out of sight—but Strider wouldn’t have become King Elessar without her. Yet these three ladies are why Lúthien is—to me—of vital importance in the bigger picture, as she is the forerunner of all women who get shit done in Middle-earth. These three, and many more, are the echoes of her badassery.

Would some of us rather J.R.R. have added plenty more female characters of varying complexity and power to his stories? Of course we would. The truth is, there are more influential women than you’d think to be found in the pages of 1977’s The Silmarillion. It’s just that Lúthien serves up something special, with a side order of blood, poison, and enchantment.

If you haven’t actually checked out Chapter 19 of The Silmarillion, “Of Beren and Lúthien,” I hope to convince you to do so. Reading the preceding chapters would provide helpful context on the state of Middle-earth at the time (in the First Age), but it’s still something of a standalone tale. I find myself rereading it more than any other just for a fix. The adventure and wonderment of The Lord of the Rings is phenomenal, but it’s understated and drawn-out compared to how much punch Tolkien packs into this one particular story. Elves, Men, and romance aside, it’s also chock full of mighty spells, magic weapons, werewolves, vampires, magic dogs, sing-offs, dying words, and the infamous Morgoth himself (aka Sauron’s original master).

Luthien

“Lúthien” by Anke Eissmann

One thing to appreciate about this tale is the fact that both its hero and its heroine share equal billing. Neither is the main character and neither upstages the other; they tag-team their way to Morgoth’s own throne room in the depths of what amounts to Hell in this world. To be fair, it does take some time to get to the point of gender symmetry, but that’s part of the journey. Despite the folkloric narrative style of The Silmarillion, there is some measure of chauvinism to be found among its characters. Even the Elves, the first Children of Ilúvatar (God in all but name), do not name women often among their heroes. Yet there are, at least, as many Ladies of the Valar (archangels) as there are Lords, and in Middle-earth’s power couples, it’s usually the female who is the greater: witness Galadriel to Celeborn or, in this story, Melian to Thingol.

Although Beren loves Lúthien above all things and is an honorable Man, even he overlooks her potential at first and tries to shelter her from harm… until she refuses to back down. Three times it takes to cut through his pride and intense desire to protect her. Then he relents as any man should when he sees he is not always the wiser nor the stronger.

But let’s back up. Just who is this lady and why is her story so worth knowing? Tolkien, who popularized many of the fantasy elements we now call tropes today, turned the fairy tale princess conceit on its head with Lúthien, even as he showcased his love and reinvention of pre-existing folktales and mythologies. I want her, and him, to get more credit for this.

Most readers first encounter the tale of Beren and Lúthien in its shortest form as told by Aragorn in Chapter 11 of The Fellowship of the Ring, “A Knife in the Dark” when he and the hobbits are gathered around a fire at Weathertop. They’d been asking him about elder times since he seemed to know a lot about the past. Samwise specifically expressed an interest in hearing more about Elves—who, it’s worth noting, are in their time of fading from Middle-earth during the War of the Ring.

‘I will tell you the tale of Tinúviel,’ said Strider, ‘in brief—for it is a long tale of which the end is not known; and there are none now, except Elrond, that remember it aright as it was told of old. It is a fair tale, though it is sad, as are all the tales of Middle-earth, and yet it may lift up your hearts.’

And Aragorn does mean “in brief,” as we get from him only the nutshell version of Lúthien’s tale, first a bit in song then in prose in one big paragraph. In real world chronology, Tolkien wrote the tale in epic form in the 1920s as a poem (which can be found in its unfinished form in The Lays of Beleriand) and he did so before even working on The Lord of the Rings. Still, Aragorn’s fireside yarn is enough for the hobbits, and more importantly, it sets the stage for his and Arwen’s own parallel, behind-the-scenes-until-the-end story. But truly, the tale of Aragorn and Arwen—while long-suffering and exceedingly hard-won—isn’t quite as fast and fierce as that of their First Age forebears. Which is to say Aragorn’s story actually has far fewer monsters, spells, hunts, dungeons, and magic dogs in it.

Aragorn

Oh, did I not mention the supernatural canines? This tale has a bunch!

Lúthien’s story is also fairly unique in that the heroes are not merely reactive to the villains. In a lot of classics, from “Beowulf” to The Odyssey to Star Wars to The Lord of the Rings itself, the good guys are spurred into motion because if they don’t, bad things will happen. Grendel and his mom come busting in, forcing Beowulf to retaliate. Odysseus is just trying to get home while meddling gods make his life complicated. Stormtroopers shoot up Luke’s moisture farm so a wise old hermit comes out of hiding and prompts him to unwittingly oppose his dad who was helping his boss blow up planets (that about the short of it?). And in Rings, Sauron begins to rise again while searching for his lost jewelry with new intel, threatening everyone, and this forces Gandalf to stir up heroes to oppose him.

But in Lúthien’s story, the great enemy Morgoth is just sitting there on his dark throne thinking his dark thoughts—for all intents and purposes, and as much as he possibly he can—minding his own business. And it’s the good guys who show up and in get all up in his face. Sure, Morgoth’s the author of all evil on Middle-earth and as a rule he constantly antagonizes the Elves of the First Age just to spite Ilúvatar. During the time of Beren’s quest, he wasn’t doing anything personally to either of them beyond his usual policy of having his minions kill their kinsmen whenever possible. But to be fair, he’s always doing that. Par for the course.

The story goes a little something like this and believe me when I say this is very abridged.

So this Man named Beren, who is already high on Morgoth’s shit list for various vengeance-fueled exploits, has been battling his way through lands thick with monsters. Things get so perilous for him that he is forced to flee into the Mountains of Terror, which are called Ered Gorgoroth. Seriously, how bad do things have to be when you have to retreat to a place after which a Norwegian black metal band names itself? Pretty bad. But although “[s]heer were the precipices” of these mountains, and “horror and madness” walked in the wilderness before him, Beren manages to come stumbling down, weary and dazed, into a beautiful forestland. And there, one night in his fevered state, he sees Lúthien dancing in a moonlit glade. He falls hard for her, and soon after, she for him. He names her Tinúviel, which means Nightingale or Daughter of Twilight.

“Daeron spies on Beren and Lúthien” by Anke Eissmann

See, from his wanderings he had strayed unknowingly into Doriath, the Hidden Kingdom, one of the many secret Elf-lands in the The Silmarillion. Despite the wrathful protest of Lúthien’s father, Thingol, who was king of this realm, the couple are determined to make their biracial, unprecedented relationship work: she is an immortal Elf and he is a mortal Man and the two races cannot share the same ultimate fate. What this means—and it’s a very big deal in Tolkien’s work—is that the afterlives of Elves and Men are not the same. Elves, when they perish, are reincarnated in Valinor, a physical realm in the world far to the west, and sometimes they can even return to Middle-earth. But Men, when they perish, go elsewhere beyond the world altogether, for they are more like guests in Middle-earth and not bound to it as are the Elves. Elves live and relive, while mortals die.

King Thingol knows this and doesn’t want to see his daughter slumming it with some ill-fated, short-lived Man. He speaks harshly and demands to know just who Beren thinks he is daring to woo his daughter. But when Beren is at first daunted, it’s Lúthien who speaks up. Tolkien’s women are not silent for long.

‘He is Beren son of Barahir, lord of Men, mighty foe of Morgoth, the tale of whose deeds is become a song even among the Elves.’

She’s not a fangirl, just a young woman in love and proud of her choice to be with him. And this gives Beren himself courage enough to speak up and defend his own lineage. But it’s still not enough for Thingol, because it never is for Elven lords, is it? He gives Beren an impossible task, one that he figures will totally get rid of the guy. And that’s because it’s a deed that countless Elves and whole armies failed to do many times in the past: reclaim the Silmarils from Morgoth, or even just one.

And just what are the Silmarils? They’re the three highly-coveted über gems that fuel many of the conflicts of The Silmarillion. Think epic MacGuffins. They were crafted by the legendary Fëanor, a prince of Elves who was basically the most skilled artisan of all time. Unbreakable, unspeakably lovely gems, they were made to preserve the last vestiges of the light of the Trees of Valinor. These trees of legend don’t otherwise factor into this story but suffice it to say that they were two colossal pillars of light and glory, likened to the sun and the moon, that shone upon the world in ancient times. The trees’ destruction and the subsequent darkening of Middle-earth were contrived by Morgoth, who—not so coincidentally—was also the one who later stole the gems and has held them ever since. Yes, most of Tolkien’s stories are about people fighting over jewelry.

Now, the light of the Silmarils, the last remnants of the light of the Trees of Valinor, could burn even Morgoth’s evil flesh. He’d affixed the gems into a crown and wore it on his head in agony just to snub his hated foes. Which you have to agree was very metal of him.

Back to Beren. If he wanted to get hitched to Lúthien, he would have to retrieve one of these gems straight from Morgoth’s headgear. King Thingol feels clever and smug for demanding the impossible, but Thingol’s wife is not so amused. For one, the mother of Lúthien isn’t actually an Elf at all—which, now that I think about it, makes me think maybe Thingol should have shut up about interracial marriages—nor was she of the race of Men. Nope, Melian was a Maia, a spiritual being on par with the balrogs, the Istari wizards, and Sauron himself. In fact, it was her powers of protection that secured her husband’s kingdom with—and I’m paraphrasing here—an Invisible Fence of Keeping Out Pretty Much All Evil +5. She was the reason everyone was safe and privileged enough to even be talking about such lofty marriage vows.

“Beren’s trial” by Anke Eissmann

Since this article is about Lúthien—no, really, it is—let me just pause again and point out that her mom isn’t just some angelic trophy wife. Where Thingol is all pride and wrath (and I assume furious Hugo Weaving eyebrows), Melian brings clear-headed counsel to his kingdom and a wisdom that makes even her high-blooded husband seem childish. And so she knows a thing or two about prophecies. She calls it like she sees it:

‘O King, you have devised cunning counsel. But if my eyes have not lost their sight, it is ill for you, whether Beren fail in his errand, or achieve it. For you have doomed either your daughter, or yourself. And now is Doriath drawn within the fate of a mightier realm.’

Calling for a quest to swipe a Silmaril is no joke. It brings the Oath of Fëanor to the table, and that’s usually bad news. The Oath in question was one Fëanor and his seven sons made back when Morgoth stole the Silmarils, and it essentially invokes death and destruction upon any who dared to keep the Silmarils from his kin. That meant even if Beren succeeded in his quest, holding a Silmaril—nay, even just seeking one—will incur the wrath of Fëanor & Sons. The Oath is a curse, and Thingol is drawing everyone involved into it simply by naming the Silmarils as the price for Lúthien’s hand. Not a smart move, but one made in passion.

Beren, being brave, mighty, and foolish—and above all, in love—just laughs off the king’s ultimatum and says:

‘For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters: for gems, and things made by craft. But if this be your will, Thingol, I will perform it. And when we meet again my hand shall hold a Silmaril from the Iron Crown; for you have not looked the last upon Beren son of Barahir.’

And off he goes, alone on his impossible quest. And in a normal fairy tale, this is as you would expect. Boy meets girl. Girl’s father dislikes boy and gives boy a suicide mission. Girl stays behind. Because that’s what princesses do—right? Stay with me.

“The archers of Nargothrond” by Anke Eissmann

Beren thus leaves and strolls into another nearby hidden Elf-kingdom (Middle-earth is lousy with them), and while he almost becomes target practice for its border guards (kidding, Elves would never miss), they recognize the ring he wears. Why, it’s the Ring of Barahir, the one that Aragorn will wear someday! See, it was once given as a token of friendship to Barahir, Beren’s dad, by an Elf king named Finrod Felagund. And that’s to whom these border guards now escort Beren.

Finrod Felagund is basically the most likeable Elf ever. He’s Galadriel’s brother, for one! He’s the sort of leader who gets his Elf-boots dirty and goes adventuring. Oh, and—fun fact—he’s also the Elf who made first contact with the race of Men when they first arrived on the scene in Middle-earth; he’d spoken well of them to his kin so that these hairy, short-lived Men were not immediately driven away from Elven lands. He also knew Beren’s dad, Barahir, personally—indeed, he’s friends with the whole bloodline—and now, hearing of Beren’s quest, Finrod actually sets aside his crown to join his young friend on his foolish quest.

Seriously, Finrod’s the nicest guy ever. If this was modern Earth, I bet he’d even give up a weekend to help his buddy move, and probably offer to use his own van, too. Just saying he’s that kind of guy.

Finrod brings along his most loyal warriors and together they all set out to take on Morgoth together. But after some crazy adventures—including Finrod disguising them all as Orcs to get through enemy lands—they meet the first boss monster: Morgoth’s right-hand man, the dreaded Maia and future ring-maker, Sauron! Beren’s party is unmasked, defeated, and after a deadly sing-off between Finrod and Sauron (think Epic Rap Battle of History: Silmarillion Edition), evil is the victor and so they’re thrown into the dungeons of the island fortress of Tol-in-Gaurhoth. AKA, the Island of Werewolves. Werewolves, which are totally a thing in Tolkien’s world, even eat some of Finrod’s Elves just to terrify the rest.

Ring of Barahir

Now back to Lúthien! She’s had enough waiting around. She feels in her heart that something is wrong, and when she consults with her literally angelic mother, discovers that Beren is now languishing in Sauron’s dungeons in Tol-in-Gaurhoth. But before she can set out to rescue him, her father learns that his daughter is planning on chasing after her scumbag boyfriend. And he gets stupid about it. Thingol, for all his faults, does love his daughter and rightly fears she would place herself in great peril going after Beren. But his solution is a little sketchy for a mighty Elf king.

He has Lúthien confined in a special house high in the lofty branches of a massive beech tree. It’s opulent and befitting a princess of her stature, but yup, Thingol essentially locks his daughter up in a tower on house arrest. This is, frankly, lousy fathering, and I do wonder at this point why Melian puts up with this—but then, aside from her protective border fencing, the queen seems content to remain advisory. Or perhaps, being prescient, she knows that her daughter solves her own problems…

Enter now the Lúthien Who Gets Things Done. Thingol grounding her is the final straw, and she’s no daddy’s girl. Lúthien enacts her own talents by putting “forth her arts of enchantment,” causing her hair to grow to an exceptional, Rapunzelish length. Here Tolkien’s homage to fairy tales is evident but also twisty, as Lúthien weaves from her dark hair a shadowy, sleep-inducing cloak and a super-long rope, down which she climbs from the great tree herself (no dude climbs to her) and leaves her guards asleep.

On the way to rescue Beren, she crosses paths with the Elf brothers Celegorm and Curufin, who’d been hanging out in Finrod’s nearby kingdom. Now they are are out hunting Sauron’s wolves with Celegorm’s super amazing awesome wolfhound, Huan. These Elves are two of the sons of Fëanor—who you may remember from such oaths as the aforementioned Oath of Fëanor. They’re also arguably the douchiest Elves in The Silmarillion, but Lúthien doesn’t know this yet. Seeing how good-looking she is, and how trusting, Celegorm suddenly desires her for himself. After the two lead her in feigned friendship back to their adopted kingdom—Finrod himself still a prisoner of Sauron’s at this time—they hold her captive. Celegorm even has plans to force her into marrying him so he can up his status among all Elves. But Huan, the horse-sized magical hound of Valinor, who had been given to Celegorm by the Valar long before—and presumably before Celegorm grew into such an asshole—intervenes on Lúthien’s behalf.

Now understand this: Huan is the best dog ever. Despite being normally loyal to his master, he is no dumb beast. Huan is true of heart and highly intelligent. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Lassie? Morons… compared to the awesomeness of Huan. Coming to love Lúthien himself, in that warm, fuzzy, and pure way only a dog can, he springs her from her prison in the dark of night and they flee the kingdom together. He even allows her to ride on his back, which he isn’t normally cool with anybody doing. But Lúthien is special and Huan is a Very Good Boy.

“The death of Finrod Felagund” by Anke Eissmann

Together they reach Sauron’s island fortress, but sadly, not in time to save Finrod. The Elf king breaks out of his shackles in time to stop one of Sauron’s werewolves from devouring Beren, and with his bare hands Finrod wrestles and slays the beast at the cost of his own life. Death from violence is especially tragic for Elves, but at the same time, isn’t the same as the death of mortals. Finrod would be reincarnated elsewhere, but would not rejoin the world in the same way, and certainly shall never see Beren again. Beren falls into despair, unaware that the Best Girlfriend Ever was already at the bridge of the tower up above.

Now Sauron, who somehow is still more likeable than those damned Elf brothers, is actually pleased to see Lúthien at his doorstep. If he could capture the lovely and much-ballyhooed Elf princess he would win some serious points with his boss, so he sends monster wolf after monster wolf down to subdue her, but Huan dispatches each one easily. So Sauron gets out the big guns in the form of Draugluin, the daddy of all werewolves, the first and meanest of his kind.

The two canines fight savagely until Draugluin, mortally wounded, turns tail then drops dead at Sauron’s feet back inside the tower, after telling his master that it was Huan who had come. Now Sauron has heard of Huan, the great hound of Valinor, as did many, and he knows of the prophecy that Huan would only meet his end by “the mightiest wolf that would ever walk the world.” Since Draugluin was clearly not the one, Sauron decides to make himself into the murderous wolf in question. He changes forms—as Maiar can do from time to time—and goes down from his tower to personally take on the big wolfhound. For he is now Wolf-Sauron, using precisely the sort of sorcery he is denied in The Lord of the Rings: the disembodied “Great Eye” we all know and love would be the best he could manage in those latter days.

The Eye of Sauron

Another dog vs. dog battle ensues, but Lúthien is no mere bystander. This lady has agency and guts. She uses the sleep-inducing threads of her home-grown cloak and makes Wolf-Sauron drowsy and sluggish so that Huan can get the upper hand (paw?). Huan is triumphant, and finally gets Sauron by the throat. Morgoth’s lieutenant tries to shift forms to wriggle free but the wolfhound’s jaws are too strong. As Sauron considers departing his body in spirit form to effect his escape, Lúthien gives him “counsel.” Sure, he could go all Pac-Man ghost-like and fly back to Morgoth like a whiny baby, but if he does…

‘There everlastingly thy naked self shall endure the torment of his scorn, pierced by his eyes, unless thou yield to me the mastery of thy tower.’

Oh snap! Remember, Lúthien is the ultimate “flower” of Elvendom and here she’s all up in the face of Sauron—you know, future Lord of the Black Land, the Lidless Eye, the Big Bad Mofo of Mordor (I may have made up that last one). She says she’ll let him go if he gives up mastery of Tol-in-Gaurhoth. Sauron, sobered by what she’s saying, agrees to her terms to save his literal skin. He relinquishes his tower, assumes the form of a vampire—a demon bat in Tolkien’s world—and flies off, ending his part in this tale. The future Dark Lord of the Third Age, beaten down by a pretty Elf girl and her dog. Hell yes.

And thus the damsel our hero Beren is rescued on his own mission! “Thank you, Princess. But our mortal Man is in another castle!” Lúthien finds him in the dungeons and draws him back up out of his despair with the power of her voice. They bury Finrod on the island, which actually used to be part of his own kingdom. The quest for the Silmaril remains unfulfilled, but they need time and rest to recover from their many hurts. Beren and Lúthien get to spend a few months together in peace. Huan, ever faithful, even goes back to his master Celegorm the Seriously Undeserving. The Elves of Finrod’s kingdom lament the death of their lord but—and I feel like this sits near the heart of the story—they also proclaim “that a maiden had dared that which the sons of Fëanor had not dared to do.” In this, there is a snub of the two jerky Elf lords and accolades for Lúthien. It’s not expected that a woman challenges such terrible foes, especially the “Daughter of Flowers,” but it also obviously pleases the Elven populace to have seen this.

After a short time, Beren is resolved to continue his quest. But being a bit dense, he tries to drop our heroine back home first… as if she wasn’t crucial to his quest’s success? And being who she is, Lúthien isn’t having it:

‘You must choose, Beren, between these two: to relinquish the quest and your oath and seek a life of wandering upon the face of the earth; or to hold to your word and challenge the power of darkness upon its throne. But on either road I shall go with you, and our doom shall be alike.’

Art by Anke Eissmann

“The attack of Fëanor’s sons” by Anke Eissmann

Heavy and romantic words in a story already full of them. But before they go on, in charges Celegorm and Curufin! The brothers had spied them in the woods and sought revenge for wounded pride and imagined slights. These guys are elitist, self-entitled Elf privilege personified. Celegorm tries to run Beren down on his horse, while Curufin grabs Lúthien up onto his. But now that he’s rested up, our hero employs the Leap of Beren—which, yes, Tolkien actually uses as a proper noun, for it was “renown among Men and Elves”—and dodges one brother while bearing the other off his horse. Lúthien is thereby flung into the grass, stunned. Just as Beren is about to strangle the life out of Curufin, his brother Celegorm recovers and goes to run Beren through with a spear.

And that’s when Huan, who’s been trotting along with his master this whole time, has had enough of his master’s shenanigans. He foils Celegorm’s attack and scares off his steed. Lúthien demands that Beren spare Curufin because, like her mother, she is the moral compass among all these hot-headed males. Interestingly, Lúthien has shown that she falls under the power of other Elves more easily than any monster of Morgoth, for at heart she is too trusting of kin. Beren honors his lady’s request, but Beren deprives the jerkwad of his gear and takes as recompense an elegant knife named Angrist. This sweet blade had been crafted by the same talented dwarf who forged the famous sword Narsil—as in, the very blade that would later cut the One Ring from Sauron’s hand.

The two sons of Fëanor curse Beren and then start off. Quite suddenly, though, Curufin grabs his brother’s bow and from afar shoots an arrow at Lúthien. WTF? When Elf attacks Elf it’s an uncommon travesty, but this is just the sort of evil with which Morgoth has infected Middle-earth by this point. Huan snatches the arrow out of the air with his mouth—who’s a Good Boy?—but Curufin shoots a second time. This time is it Beren who steps in front of Lúthien and accepts the hit. Down he goes with the Elf’s arrow in his chest. Huan chases off the brothers then fetches herbs to help Lúthien tend to Beren’s terrible wound. He’s totally her dog now.

“[B]y her arts and by her love” Lúthien heals Beren. They come to the borders of Doriath again, but because he still doesn’t get it, Beren sneaks off early in the morning to continue his quest alone. Tolkien doesn’t say so, but Lúthien probably rolls her eyes when she wakes up. It’s a testament to her love for Beren that she takes this is stride and simply goes after him with the Best Dog Ever beside her.

Art by Anke Eissmann

“The parting” by Anke Eissmann

But first they stop by the mountain pass where they battled Sauron. Because they’re going deeper into enemy lands they know they’ll need a disguise. Huan takes “thence the ghastly wolf-hame,” or skin, of Draugluin the dead werewolf and he puts it on like clothing. Being from Valinor, a blessed realm untouched by Morgoth’s evil, Huan probably normally has a very shiny coat and wins Best in Show every time, but that’s much too conspicuous in evil lands. The foul skin of a werewolf sire solves that! Lúthien, meanwhile, is far too pretty to walk casually about, either. Therefore she puts on the “bat-fell of Thuringwethil” as her disguise. Thuringwethil was a vampire messenger, and though her demise is never actually mentioned in the tale, she was presumably slain among the other minions of Sauron. So with Huan at his most fiendish, and the lovely Lúthien looking more goth than ever with “great fingered wings […] barbed at each joint’s end with an iron claw,” they continue on unhindered.

Across a dark forest “filled with horror,” they finally catch up to Beren. This freaks him out at first because of the Halloween costumes they’re wearing. Once they reveal themselves to him, though, he is dismayed. Why? Because his beloved Lúthien, whom he loves above all else, was once again in peril just being there. And that’s when Huan, who has had enough of this fool’s stubbornness, tells it to him straight:

‘From the shadow of death you can no longer save Lúthien, for by her love she is now subject to it. You can turn from your fate and lead her into exile, seeking peace in vain while your life lasts. But if you will not deny your doom, then either Lúthien, being forsaken, must assuredly die alone, or she must with you challenge the fate that lies before you—hopeless, yet not certain.’

After probably saying, “Wait, you can talk?!” (and to which Huan would have answered, “Only three times in my whole life, as it happens”), Beren concedes at last. The maiden he loves was going to be there with him to face the greatest of all enemies, and he just has to get used to it. Huan also tells them that he can go no further on their road together—possibly because he is tired of being a fifth wheel on this, the weirdest date of all time. This also frees up the Draugluin skin suit, which Beren puts on. So Beren with his badass/gross werewolf-skin and Lúthien with her sexy/gross bat-skin set off on the last leg of the quest. Interestingly, these forms are more than mere cloaks, though; such were the arts of Lúthien and/or the powers of the slain monsters themselves that donning the skins transforms their wearers—at least in part. “Beren became in all things like a werewolf to look upon, save that in his eyes there shone a spirit grim indeed but clean.” And Lúthien in her vampire form could actually fly.

It’s so freaking awesome. In an essay, Tolkien scholar Thomas M. Honegger wrote that this element of the tale seems to borrow from Guillaume de Palerne, a French romance poem from the thirteenth century—which Professor Tolkien would be more than familiar with—in which two young lovers escape an arranged marriage by donning the skins of polar bears at the behest of a prince-turned-werewolf. When he doesn’t invent an idea out of whole cloth—and it’s no secret he drew from old mythologies and literature—Tolkien repurposes them.

By their servant-of-Morgoth cosplaying, Beren and Lúthien come “through all perils” far to the north to the hellish gates of the Dark Lord’s lair at Angband which I imagine makes Mordor seem like a holiday destination. Travel brochures would highlight Angband’s serpent-filled chasms, its carrion fowl screeches in the sky, and the thousand-foot cliff wall rising above it. But here our heroes are stopped in their tracks when they see a creature guarding the gate like Cereberus at the gates of Hades.

It is Carcharoth, the Red Maw, the Jaws of Thirst, the biggest and meanest of wolves, who’d been sired by Draugluin, likely bred for the express purpose of battling Huan. Carcharoth had been fed by Morgoth’s own hand the flesh of Men and Elves until “the fire and anguish of hell entered into him, and he became filled with a devouring spirit, tormented, terrible, and strong.” (He’s also the last supernatural canine in this story, I promise.) Yet Huan isn’t here this time, just Lúthien and Beren. Carcharoth, despite his thirst for violence, is merely puzzled by their presence, unsure of who they are. They look odd. And heyyyy, that wolf-skin looks kind of familiar—

Lúthien takes advantage of the dread wolf’s vexation, throws back her vampire-skin, and casts a spell of sleep upon him. Down he goes, snoozing like Fluffy outside the hiding place of the Philosopher’s Stone. They enter Angband, descending its many dark stairs, and “together wrought the greatest deed that has been dared by Elves or Men.” For here at long last they step into Morgoth’s “nethermost” hall, a place of death and torment, where the Dark Lord himself is sitting upon his throne with his court of fell monsters around him.

Illustration by Sam Hadley

Illustration by Sam Hadley

Normally this is where the male hero draws his sword and boldly confronts the villain. Not here! Beren is immediately cowed by Morgoth’s majesty, crawling low to the floor at the Dark Lord’s feet like the dog he’s become. Lúthien, meanwhile, is “stripped of her disguise by the will of Morgoth,” though she stands her ground and willingly endures his vile gaze.

In the book Perilous and Fair: Women in the Works and Life of J. R. R. Tolkien (a worthwhile read, edited by Janet Brennan Croft and Leslie A. Donovan), scholar Cami D. Agan addresses this vital development. “Chillingly, this moment appears to enact [Lúthien’s] description of Sauron’s impending humiliation.” It’s serious business to stand vulnerable before such a fiend; “physically and metaphorically naked before the gaze of Morgoth, Lúthien is threatened with objectification, rape, and perpetual torment. However, Lúthien retains her identity, names herself, and thus solidifies her power. In naming herself, Lúthien claims equal standing with Morgoth himself; she is unafraid, ‘not daunted by his eyes,’ the very eyes that Sauron fears to endure in defeat.”

As the embodiment of pride in Middle-earth, Morgoth is overconfident. He allows her to address him, vulnerable as she appears. So Lúthien offers to sing for him “after the manner of a minstrel.” He buys it, expecting that he’s fully in control of the situation. But as Agan writes, “Lúthien appears to offer ‘service’ out of a position of weakness—and this is what Morgoth ‘sees’—when in reality she has worked through his bodily desire to create a space and time wherein she might take mastery of Angband.”

Morgoth is, like most, captivated by her beauty. He is not immune to its power, for he’d been a being of beauty himself once, back when he was greatest of Ilúvatar’s celestial team. Lúthien artfully uses Morgoth’s own lustful fascination against him. She slips into the shadows of his chamber and begins a new “song of such surpassing loveliness, and of such blinding power,” like some epic-level D&D bard spell. Morgoth is utterly dumbfounded and blinded. The crown on his head with its three Silmarils blazes with light, stirred by Lúthien’s power, and under its weight Morgoth is bowed down. She uses her cloak—you know, the one she wove of hair from her own head—to “set upon him a dream, dark as the Outer Void where once he walked alone.” Morgoth collapses to the ground, the crown sent rolling across the floor, and his entire court falls into slumber with him.

A touch from Lúthien awakens the now-sleeping Beren—remember him? This being the pivotal moment in his quest, he throws off the wolf-skin and uses the iron-slicing knife Angrist to cut free one of the Silmarils from the fallen crown. Realizing that nobody, but nobody, will get this chance again, Beren decides to try for all three gems, but the knife breaks and a shard goes flying and—as Murphy’s Law apparently dictates even on Middle-earth—strikes the sleeping Morgoth in the cheek. The Dark Lord begins to stir, Lúthien and Beren make like Entwives… and leave. Swiftly!

“Beren recovers a Silmaril” by Anke Eissmann

While the menagerie of monsters isn’t quick to awaken and give chase, Carcharoth is waiting for them at the door, wide awake now and angry. Lúthien is too spent from her struggle against Morgoth to deal with the big bad wolf again, but Beren has a Silmaril in his hand and it blazes forth with the light of the Trees of Valinor. He thrusts the gem out, hoping to frighten away the wolf with its power, “‘for here is a fire that shall consume you, and all evil things.'” But Carcharoth, channeling Fenrir the wolf of Norse mythology from which Tolkien undoubtedly drew inspiration, chomps down on Beren’s outstretched right hand and bites it off, Silmaril and all.

Then swiftly all his inwards were filled with a flame of anguish, and the Silmaril seared his accursed flesh. Howling he fled before them, and the walls of the valley of the Gate echoed with the clamour of his torment.

So off runs the Silmaril-stricken wolf, with Beren’s hand in his belly, burning with holy flame. It doesn’t kill him, just drives him mad with rage and he kills everything in his rampage. Beren, meanwhile, falls, poisoned by Carcharoth’s venom. Beren is dying once again, but Lúthien draws out the venom with her lips as if it were a mere snake bite and not a gaping severed hand wound. This—this here!—is the badass princess I’m talking about, and it’s just what I’ve come to expect from her.

Just another day in this romance, though! Boy meets girl. Girl puts evil demigod to sleep. Boy steals demigod’s gem. Demigod’s dog bites off boy’s hand and poisons boy. Girl saves boy again by sucking poison out of boy’s bloody stump.

Lúthien uses the last of her power to bind Beren’s wound, but Morgoth’s horde is soon to overcome them. All seems lost… except for a story device familiar to readers of The Lord of the Rings. Lúthien and her boyfriend are spied from above and saved by Thorondor, Lord of the Eagles, and two of his vassals, who were actually flying over the region specifically in search of them. Does it seem random, or dumb luck? Nope! Huan, the most exceptional dog in all the world, had asked all his animal friends to keep an eye out for these two specifically. See, the Eagles are a cut above the animals of Middle-earth, having been placed in the world by the Valar, like Huan himself, specifically to aid the enemies of Morgoth.

Beren and Lúthien are carried far from Morgoth’s lands and dropped off at the border of Doriath. Beren languishes and nearly dies from his horrendous wound, but he pulls through, waking to the singing of his beloved Tinúviel. And as many of Tolkien’s characters are wont to do, he receives another name. Beren still goes by Beren, but now he’s also Erchamion the One-Handed. The two lovers share in a time of peace and togetherness again, albeit with one fewer hand between them, but the quest remains unfulfilled, under a technicality: the Silmaril he was to retrieve is actually inside a rampaging wolf monster.

wargs

Lúthien is actually fine with this; she’s proven by now that she’s nobody’s fool and she’s through worrying about her dad’s expectations. She is content to elope, having been to literal Hell and back, and is content to leave the quest alone. But Beren still wishes to do right by her father and, more importantly, by the honor of his word. When the two do return to Thingol’s court, the Elf king isn’t exactly happy to see Beren still alive. Beren fesses up that he doesn’t have the promised Silmaril yet. He shows Thingol his stump and, for crying out loud, he gives himself another epithet. Now he is also Camlost, the Empty-Handed. Seeing this, and hearing the hardships of their adventure in full, Thingol actually softens up at last and finally consents to their marriage.

And so, before the throne of Doriath, “Beren took the hand of Lúthien.” Which, frankly, seems like an insensitive way for Tolkien to have worded it, under the circumstances. So hey, Beren gets the girl! But actually, Lúthien got the boy first. He kind of had her at “Tinúviel.”

Now that the wedding has happened, Thingol organizes a hunt for Carcharoth because he’d been terrorizing the land in his agony and he did still have that elusive gem that everyone wants. Huan, of course, is the first to volunteer, and Beren, Thingol, and a few other significant Elves sign on as well. Lúthien, notably, does not go, for a “a dark shadow” falls over her for what I can only imagine is the weight of her newly-bestowed doom. She has just been hitched to a Man and that’s never happened to an Elf before. It’s unclear what the consequences will be—but in truth, the prospect of real death falls upon her. Men like Beren live with death close at hand at all times, but for Elves it is, as mentioned earlier, quite a revelation to digest.

Carcharoth is eventually tracked to the banks of a big river, where he has paused to drink, for its sweet waters are the only thing that can temporarily relieve the burning Silmaril-based indigestion he’s been suffering. After a game of cat and mouse with the hunters, the great wolf leaps at Thingol. Beren jumps in the way, saving his new father-in-law, and gets mauled horribly by Carcharoth. Then the wolf is tackled by Huan and the two engage in a titanic final battle that churns the earth and “choked the falls” of the river itself. The wargs of the Rings trilogy had nothing on these two.

At last, Huan slays Carcharoth… but his own prophesied death at the jaws of the greatest wolf comes to pass as well. Huan collapses beside Beren and speaks his final words, saying farewell. Beren is too gravely wounded and too grieved to speak, because honestly, the magical heavenly dog was always too good to be true, and now he was gone. He had done more than his part in helping the two lovers. Man and Elf’s best friend.

"The Quest Fulfilled" by

“The Quest Fulfilled” by Anke Eissmann

Carcaroth is cut open and the Silmaril is recovered! Then—finally—Thingol is satisfied that the mission has been accomplished. Yet his own victory is hollow and “full-wrought” because he’s still losing his daughter to this brave and foolish Man… and at this point said Man is dying, for real this time. By the time Beren’s body and Huan’s corpse are brought back to Elven lands, Lúthien is there to receive them. She embraces Beren, and he dies.

The end.

Nope again! As if this love story wasn’t already its own twisty tale of magic blades, holy gems, and monster skins, here is where one Man and one Elfmaid really break the rules. Because Lúthien asked him to—seriously, because she just bade him to—Beren’s spirit lingers in the halls of Mandos before passing on to wherever it is that the spirits of Men go. Mandos is the archangelic being whose judgments shape the world, and his halls are essentially the waiting room to all the mysteries beyond the veil. And here Beren waits because he finally really listened to her.

Lúthien herself shows up to meet him there, leaving her body lifeless behind her on Middle-earth to the great despair of her family. And then she sings her “most sorrowful” song to Mandos. Aside from bumming him out big time, it’s obviously an earworm of great power:

Unchanged, imperishable, it is sung still in Valinor beyond the hearing of the world, and listening the Valar are grieved. For Lúthien wove two themes of words, of the sorrow of the Eldar and the grief of Men, of the Two Kindreds that were made by Ilúvatar to dwell in Arda, the Kingdom of Earth amid the innumerable stars.

Lúthien is not only a participant and heroine of this story that’s so central to Tolkien’s world, but she also sets precedence for the union of the races of Man and Elf thereafter. Her lament before Mandos is a butterfly effect for events to come. Moved by her song, and knowing he cannot change the rules, Mandos thinks about what he can do. He turns to Manwë, the King of the Valar (and brother of Morgoth!), who does have the authority to at least pull some strings in the heavens. Manwë therefore gives Lúthien a choice:

  • (A) Dwell in paradise among the Valar, but without Beren, and there she would forget all worldly griefs.
  • (B) Return to Middle-earth with her husband and join him in a mortal’s uncertain life, where nothing, not even joy, can be promised. (Sound familiar, fellow humans?) In time, true death would come them both.
  • (C) Kidding, there’s no C.

She chooses B, forsaking the immortality of Elves and all mystical ties to her people. Lúthien and Beren do live on for a time, resurrected, and able to visit those they love who still lived. And because she is a mortal now, Lúthien knows her parting with her parents will be exceedingly painful. In the mysterious afterlife of Tolkien’s legendarium, it is at least clear that mortals and immortals go their separate ways when all is said and done. Curiously, the Silmarillion’s narrative presents death as a gift to Men, something the Elves at times do envy, but that is another topic for another day.

Arwen

Eventually Lúthien and Beren retire in a scenic island called Tol Galen, but no one ever sees them again, nor know where they eventually died. Yet they do have children. Elrond will be their great-grandson, and his daughter, Arwen Undómiel, will face the same choice Lúthien had. In some ways, Arwen’s life mirrors Lúthien’s in both function (she marries a Man and chooses mortality to be with him) and form (Arwen looks a lot like her). The very concept of the Half-elven—those born of the union of Men and Elves—comes with its own policy, a new rule that requires such individuals to decide whose fate their line would bear. Elrond, for example, chooses the immortality of the Eldar, but is unable to prevent both his twin brother and his daughter from choosing the doom of Men. Yet even those who fade away lived remarkable and lengthy lives. Elros, brother of Elrond, would become the founder of Númenor and Arwen, of course, would become pivotal in the life of Aragorn, who in turn is pivotal in the defeat of Sauron in the Third Age.

So ultimately, Beren and Lúthien become a kind of archtype for their respective races. Yet in the end this is still mostly a love story, not an action story. They are star-crossed lovers in a way that makes Shakespeare’s Veronan teens just a summer fling. Sure, Romeo and Juliet defy their rich Italian families to hook up. Tristan and Isolde wade through some feudal red tape for their passion. Catherine and Heathcliff just pine and brood over each other on the English moors. There are a lot of famous lovers in classic literature and many of them are worth reading about for the sheer passion and poetry of it. But a lot of them—dare I say most of them in the mythological or fantasy variety—also include a swooning damsel who is either rescued or “won” by their men. Even Buttercup in the otherwise awesome The Princess Bride mostly just cries and gets upset while Westley and his friends do all the work. But “Of Beren and Lúthien” is a tale in which the lovers save each other; neither can succeed on their own but together overcome all obstacles (with the help of their dog and their friends), and in the end she is a heroine who chooses to be with her beloved forever and share his fate… whatever that may be.

I think Beren’s great. He’s a hero’s hero without needing to be womanizing or blustery. We know him, because it’s easy to imagine he’s a lot like Aragorn. But Lúthien, to the casual Rings reader, is not as familiar in one woman. She’s as spiritual as Galadriel, as valorous as Éowyn, as comforting as Arwen. She’s the memorable one here—a heroine of mettle and volition, a woman who escapes the chains imposed on her, makes her own decisions, commands enemies and friends alike, stands boldly against evil, and yet is the voice of healing and mercy when that is needed instead. She may seem like a superhero at times (to be fair, the Silmarillion doesn’t spend much time talking about everyday people), but she is still at times naive and flawed. She falls for a rugged, sweaty, homeless, and mortal ranger type and that gets them both in a heap of trouble with her people.

So boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy and girl go on a crazy long adventure, upstage everyone, and live in mixed sorrow and happiness until the end.

Then, of course, it’s also a very personal tale for old J.R.R. and his bride Edith, who once gave him inspiration “in a wood where hemlock was growing,” where her dancing begat a legend.

 

Jeff LaSala is a freelance writer who once published, among others, an article in Dragon magazine called “D&D Love Stories” because courtship that involves monsters and magic is better than any romantic comedy. He wrote some sci-fi/fantasy books, works for Tor, and wanders the roads of life together with his wife and son. “And whither then? I cannot say.”

Where to Start? Choosing Between the Original Story and the Screen Adaptation

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Arrival-AmyAdams

This is the trailer for Arrival.

It’s based on “Story of Your Life” by Ted Chiang. It’s directed by Denis Villeneuve whose last two movies, Prisoners and Sicario, have varied between ambitious and astonishing. It stars Amy Adams, consistently one of the most impressive and least well-utilized actresses of her generation. It’s a science fiction story that’s based entirely around language, the perils of not communicating clearly, and the personal costs of first contact.

It looks great. Advanced word is that it IS great. And it places me on the horns of a dilemma.

Do I read the story first or not?

Your first interaction with a story is the one that imprints on you, after all. There are advantages, and downsides, to both approaches.

Let’s take a look at coming to a story through the original text first. The advantage here is obvious: you hit the story in its original, purest, and most direct form. In the case of short stories or novels this is a big plus simply because it’s a chance to read a finite text in its original form. This is how the author intended it, so it makes sense that this is your first port of call.

That being said, the same doesn’t hold for long form stories. When faced with the choice between watching the two-and-a-half-hour movie version of Captain America: Civil War and reading the 98 issues of various comics, now years old, that contributed to the story line, it’s easy to see which is the most efficient approach, all other considerations aside. In cases like this, movie adaptations present as two different, equally interesting things; a second run at a story and the “CliffsNotes” version of the original. Civil War in particular did an excellent job of telling the same basic story without a lot of the elements that have dated very badly from the original. Likewise the movie version of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which managed to hit all the right notes and carefully avoid the novel’s less successful elements.

Pride-Prejudice-Zombies

But approaching a story—even a work of short fiction—through the original text first is no guarantee of success. If you do that, then you’ll find yourself going in to the movie version with a mental checklist of what you Have To See in the film. In most cases, you’re going to come away disappointed and, often, annoyed. As my teenaged 2000 AD-reading self—stumbling dazed and increasingly annoyed out of the Stallone Dredd movie and wondering what the HELL he’d just watched—can attest.

The thing he didn’t realize, and I now do, is that it was always going to be a disappointment. Not just because the film isn’t very good but because I went into it primed for disappointment. I wanted Dredd to keep his helmet on, I wanted Hershey to be more than window dressing. I wanted a sense of the chaotic, sprawling Mega City 1 that was in my head—not the often generic and entirely artificial environment we saw. I went in with preconceptions and I left with a headache.

So what about going straight to the adaptation?

Well, straight away you have the advantage of surprise. Going into a movie unspoiled is increasingly difficult these days but, if you don’t know the source material, it’s at least possible. Plus, just as reading the original first can set your expectations impossibly high, coming in with a clean slate means that those expectations are often at a sensible level.

Then there’s the issue of imprinting. The first version of a story you encounter is always the one you judge others by. Doctor Who is one of the best examples of this. Your Doctor is usually the one you first imprint on and it’s always difficult for others to live up to that. Likewise, if you watch the movie version of something, like it, and go back to read the book, there’s always a chance you’re going to find it lacking in some way. The best example of this is Lord of the Rings—I never made it through the original books for a whole variety of reasons and as a result, for me, Boromir will always be from Sheffield.

SeanBeanSheffieldFan

Be at peace, Son of Gondor…

I’m okay with that, not just because it’s always nice to see Yorkshire turn up in heroic fantasy, but because the LOTR movies did a very difficult job extremely well. For me they’ll always be the lens I view that story through and because I liked them, when I do read the books, their existence will be an asset rather than a problem.

So what do you do?

For me, the answer is “all of the above, depending.”

There’s so much wonderful work being done across every media that we have no hope of ever seeing, playing, listening to, reading, or watching all of it. So instead we have to work out what we like, be brave about what we’re not sure of, and try new things as much as possible. Read what you love, or what looks cool, or what has a good cover. Watch the adaptation first, if you think it will be an interesting experience—there are no hard and fast rules, beyond keeping an open mind.

As for Arrival, I’ve decided that I’m going to see the movie first. I love what I’ve read of Ted Chiang’s work. His story “Exhalation” remains an all-time favourite and I’m delighted to see his work starting to find its way into other media. So, for this one, I’m going to go in cold and, from everything I’ve heard, be very pleasantly surprised.

But I have just ordered Stories of Your Life and Others from my local bookshop. And once I see the movie, I’m going in.

Alasdair Stuart is a freelancer writer, RPG writer and podcaster. He owns Escape Artists, who publish the short fiction podcasts Escape PodPseudopodPodcastleCast of Wonders, and the magazine Mothership Zeta. He blogs enthusiastically about pop culture, cooking and exercise at Alasdairstuart.com, and tweets @AlasdairStuart.

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